Posted by ralphrost on February 26, 2007, at 20:56:03
Hello mates,
Sometimes I don't even feel human. My mind feels so quiet, no thoughts. I compare my behavior to some passive animal. Fishes don't think, probably.
I go through the day without even noticing it. Nothing catches my attention. I don't feel bored, sad neither. When somebody says something to me, it doesn't ressonate in me, producing some sort of reaction. I just answer with the very basic and shortest answer. My mind feels empty, and all I'm able to care about is this illness. Hell is repetition.
I used to have streams of thoughts that would bring me to bright or dark places. Some sort of flux bringing horror or amusement. Life could be felt vividly.
Things changed and I lost contact with all these aspects of myself. I don't feel human. All that's rest of me is the very basic parts of me to keep me alive. So strange, so unbelievable to me.
I wish I could hear from someone that this is going to change. And I need to believe it. Have you ever felt this? What's going on with me?
Sorry for the melancholic post
Ralph
poster:ralphrost
thread:736602
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/esteem/20061105/msgs/736602.html