Posted by Deneb on September 17, 2006, at 0:41:29
I'm starting to wonder if my thinking about weight loss is disordered.
Sometimes it seems like I want to lose weight first and foremost and health comes second. I feel like I could sacrifice some of my health to be thin.
I'm lucky I'm not able to severely restrict my caloric intake, or else I might be anorexic. I'm also pretty lucky I was able to stop purging.
I want to be thin. I want to see my ribs and my hip bones. I want to fit into a size zero and I definitely want to weigh less than 100 lbs. I want to have really skinny arms and legs.
I don't want to be underweight because I know it is not healthy. Instead I aim to be at the lowest normal weight. I think that's a very reasonable goal for me.
I think the media has brainwashed me into thinking thin is beautiful.
I just can't wait until I'm 95 lbs or less. It's going to take a while because I'm not severely restricting calories, but I'm determined this time. I'm planning on losing a reasonable two pounds a month. If I lose more, that will really boost my motivation. I want to be able to maintain my goal weight so I have to make slow changes and learn new habits.
I'm going to do it. I'm in this for the long haul. I'm going to weigh 95 pounds by June of next year. I *have* to do this.
Deneb*
poster:Deneb
thread:686709
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/eating/20060628/msgs/686709.html