Posted by Augustina on October 11, 2005, at 14:53:11
In reply to Sonya?, posted by Maxime on October 10, 2005, at 1:20:39
i hope it's okay if i chime in...
i too have had an ED since I was around 10yo or so and I'm now 38yo. I don't want to let go of this beast either...it's become my life really. And I also have similar feelings of desperation when I gain weight, even if it's "just" a few pounds. The thoughts of how I can lose weight, what I need to restrict, how much more I need to exercise are so time and energy consuming. I feel so much ambivalence towards this disorder...a part of me wants to just not worry about how i look, how much i weigh, how my clothes fit...and just live life in a more self-accepting way. The other part of me wants to keep going with this...b/c if i lose more weight I'd be "happy".
(at least that's the fantasy i live in). Thanks for listening.
poster:Augustina
thread:565144
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/eating/20051009/msgs/565697.html