Posted by Qujbo on December 16, 2003, at 20:59:19
Firstly id like to tell you all a bit about myself, I'm 21 years old, I have a good environment, loving patents, loving friends, a great psychologist, great health(I work out regularly and eat healthy) and a great academic success, I'm in my last year of software engineering education in university.
Despite all this I am very very sick, I have been deppressed for 4 years and have horrible anxiety problems. I am in horrible pain(psychologically), I have suicidal thoughts several times a day, every day of my life is full of pain, I harm myself(burning, cutting) and have attempted suicide 2 times.
I have never used any illegal drugs and have no wish for euphoria, all I want is to feel like a nomal person, I want to live, I want to feel alive.
I have been on several anti depressents and benzo's, and have been recieving psycological treatments for over 4 months. They helped me very minimally.
Last month after doing lost of research, I decided to try codeine, I purified 100mg of codiene from OTC painkiller tablets.
And finally after 4 years I felt alive again, I felt like I wanted to live again. I cannot express the happiness this brought over me. Since then I have been using codeine every 3 days, for 6 months. I cannot express how gratefull I am of this drug, It has braught me back to life, it as saved my life, I dont want want to kill myself anymore, I dont have to suffer the torture that have went through for all this time, I feel human. I can work, I can study, I feel like I can do anything I want.
All I can say to people that are suicidal and in constant torture is try this drug. Its not worth killing yourself, there is a solution.
I dont recomend people with mild deppression try this drug as it has set backs, only if you are considering taking you life and just cant handle the pain.
I know there are going to be people who will oppose my view, but life full of pain, is not life. The only way you can underdstand this is by experience it.
poster:Qujbo
thread:290760
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/alter/20031204/msgs/290760.html