Posted by alexandra_k on July 9, 2020, at 18:10:21
In reply to Re: Support, posted by Toph on July 9, 2020, at 13:38:11
I had to look up 'avarice'. Yes.
The world is imploding, a little, because psychopathy got a little too prevalent.
The people who were focused on scrambling up some stupid hierarchy of their own advantage at everyone else's expense...
F*ck*d things up, rather.I am similar to you, perhaps.
I have been retired (not allowed to work to international standards in a country that is very focused on scrambling up local hierarchy of relative advantage by way of *rs*-kissing and outpouring of sweet sweet lies that they want to hear about how glorious they are.
I start to consume alcohol, too, and sleep as much as I possibly can. It's about curling up and dying. Which is about wishing myself out of existence as much as I possibly can. Which is about being so inexpressibly unhappy with the fact that I was born, at all.I am waiting on the courts. To see if there is justice. Or if corruption corruption corruption all the way up is the only thing that there is, here.
The courts statistics are that more than 70 per cent obtain written judgement within 1 month of the last thing filed. More than 90 per cent obtain written judgement within 3 months of the last thing filed. But there are a handful or two of cases that are more than 6 months outstanding.
Of course the court is attempting to say 'we don't accept your submission nonononononono it's not filed until we say that it's filed... there are pages missing...' --
But I have a CIV number and I have the fact that it was assigned to Justice Palmer. And I made an inquiry (which I am allowed to do) to the manager so the manager is required to ask of the judge when the written judgement is likely to be produced. So it's in the High Court. How NZ Universities refuse to process applications to enrol (for certain programs of study like Medicine and likely Law as well...) and refuse to confer qualifications when people have met requirements for them. Statemetns of how I 'might like to re-think wanting to enrol in a program when I think selection lacks integrity because those same people would be responsible for motivating and inspiring me'.
I've asked for them to be removed. The people who lacked reading comprehension. THe people who tried to turn it aroudn on me that they refused to do their jobs. The people who tried to bully me away. They needt o go.
They stole my life. They gave my life to the idiot children of officials so they could go on to rape and murder and assault and sexually abuse people with impunity.
They wanted do it for those reasons.
And these are the people who arranged that for them.
They need to go.
________________________
__________________________> I attempted to replace work with a fast car, photography, volunteer work and travel.
Do you want to tell me stories about these things??
The only thing that helps me want to drink less is exercise. Because intense exercise puts me into the stupor-sleep thing. The approximation of non-existence.
I am not really okay.
Waiting..
Has become the story of my life.I don't have plans to actively kill myself.
But I do feel like most of my life has been delay delay delay delay delay waste time waiting... Waiting... Delay... Just hold on. Nearly there...
I'm 40 and they haven't managed to process my college application for the Degree program of my choosing, yet.
I'm feeling like a chump. An idiot. A fool. That I came back to this hell hole and that I didn't kill myself years and years and years and years and years ago.
There we go.
The worst mistake of my life (aside from the birthing thing) was that I didn't succeed in killing myself at the first available opportunity.
What fun.
I'm sorry, Toph.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:1111015
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20191229/msgs/1111217.html