Posted by alexandra_k on August 15, 2013, at 2:51:46
In reply to Re: change, posted by alexandra_k on August 14, 2013, at 16:38:25
and i guess it is hard too because people pull. and make sides. me vs everyone else or me vs them or me vs lou or whatever. and make it personal. it is hard not to take things personally, though, i understand that.
the reason i need so much time away from people is because i haven't a hope in hell of figuring out what is going on with ME and what it is that i need otherwise.
and in some respects... i'm different enough from most of the people i've been around most of my life... for it to be crucially important that i do more of what is right of me and less of what is right for others.
i've come to learn...
my going around 'what is wrong with me, what is wrong with me?' only attracts people who are perfectly willing to speak up about what is wrong with me: it invariably turns out to be whatever it is about me that makes me different from them. anything they don't like... they wish they could change... those things... become what they are perfectly willing to see is what is wrong with me.
those that are most willing to help are those who are most unable / most incompetent / most out for their own interests. those who are least willing... are those who probably have more of an idea just what kind of a problem child i am so are quick to avoid.
or something.
blah.
i miss my t. even though he was incapable of thinking of me outside the present session (clearly my problem is my inability to be in the moment).
grr.
sigh.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:1048943
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20130702/msgs/1049061.html