Posted by 10derheart on July 1, 2013, at 17:03:26
In reply to Re: It is gone far beyond theorectical now, Dr. Bob » 10derheart, posted by SLS on July 1, 2013, at 13:41:09
I apologize if I accused you of bashing.
Accusation wasn't the mode of thought....I was more in, "oh crap, what did *I* just do and why did *I* do that?" mode.
>>How does one define the word "bashing"?
I guess I used it synonymously with the standard definitions of uncivil here on PB, mainly posts using language that could lead others to feel accused or put down and jumping to conclusions. You make a good point. Next time I will say what I mean more precisely; I can see how "bashing" could be vague.
The trouble is, of course, "uncivil," "accused," "put down," "insensitive," etc. could all be subject to interpretation.... so round and round we go and have gone for years. I rely on my understanding of what Dr. Bob generally used to mean by those when I was a deputy.
>>Which of the words posted along this thread qualify as "bashing"?
I shouldn't repost them, if I am going to resume following the FAQ policies as they stand.
I count at least 8 total times this occurs along the thread, with maybe 5 more depending on whether your Don Quixote analogy is "counted" as directed at Lou. I may be missing more, maybe my own. I think I posted at least one when I clearly implied you or others on this thread may be bashing or posting uncivil things. That is uncivil. (And i guess I am doing it again, right here...sigh...)
I reflexively reacted to seeing a thread I created that is the kind that quickly descends into mostly negative comments and descriptions about one poster's posts...based on my 2+ years of experience watching it happen again and again as a deputy. My frustration and assumption Dr. Bob will not appear or act as he used to gets the better of me and I start making my own, probably contradictory rules, or exceptions to rules.
I liked it....loved it, really, when the rules were strict and enforced. This is a minority and rejected POV by several long time posters, and many other categories of posters - I know. Perhaps by the majority, including those who lurk...I have no data to determine that. I am pretty sure you have posted more than once that you thought the blocks, sanctions, etc., in general became a problem, roughly in agreement with, for example, Twinleaf's views, if that's a reasonably accurate memory of mine? We disagree there.
I like rules and I like leaving the elephant standing in the room if that means *forcing* all of us to create civil posts instead of posting what we first think or feel, or when we strongly believe we are stating facts. But I have never seen this go smoothly when Dr. Bob is not actively, constantly, consistently here, and that is a pipe dream.As I said, my view has generally been overruled and rejected in these sorts of discussions on how to administer this site re: civility.
I respectfully have to say I disagree confrontation (the way I think you mean it) is required to get things done. I see it happen regularly in my real life (family, church, Facebook) when people are deliberate about it. It is really, really, challenging, to the point it's like learning a new language, but it happens. When I can't find a way to be utterly honest and kind, compassionate, and charitable all at the same time, then the latter three must take precedence. I am far, far, far from an expert at this tricky balance, but I dislike myself a lot when I lapse and quit trying.
My favorite thing about being a deputy was trying my best to demonstrate that. But that was a ***long*** time ago.
MDD (presently in complete remission); ADD-Inattentive type; mild anxiety (not fomally dx'd)
Meds: Strattera 80 mg q day
poster:10derheart
thread:1046098
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20130109/msgs/1046184.html