Posted by violette on June 28, 2010, at 11:55:42
In reply to Re: are these examples sweeping?, posted by PartlyCloudy on June 28, 2010, at 11:30:58
I agree with Partly Cloudy, but feel inclinded at the moment to expand on that view.
It seems the easiest way to deal with this (maybe easier said than done) is to accept what is true about human nature. People, though not all, just tend to talk that way regardless of any circumstances. Internet forum discussions are often more casual in writing. I am going to use a generalizing to express my point.
Everyone's opinions, including generalizations-unless otherwise stated-are a result of their individual experiences, opinions, values, beliefs, and knowledge accumulation.
When someone makes a generalization, another poster can simply say-in a civil way-this is my experience that contradicts the generalization. Such as when a poster said all psychiatrists are bad, or whatever term was used, I simply stated that this is not the case from my experience.
I do not understand how generalizations can possibly uncivil because that is simply a concept of linguistics. People sometimes just talk that way. It is very difficult to tip toe around here with words. It drives me crazy when I write to decide whether to use the words: some, many, vs. all, most, every time, for example, and takes away from what I want to say.
I understand people can be triggered from such statements; at the same time, the generalizations rarely-imo-come from ill intent-but rather from another person's experience, etc., or just modes of speech common to human nature.
Can't we draw the line by accepting the implied knowledge that a person's comments here, including generalizations, unless directed at the community/members here, are about the other person and not those who do not wish to hear them? Can't someone just respond with - 'that is not true for me'?
It seems that unless someone (erroneously) states the generalization(s) came from research, or states it as fact-and I have not seen that-that we can assume that it comes from a person's own beliefs? Whether or not someone states it as a "fact" could draw a clear line.
Honest to god it can become so difficult to use this forum feeling like walking on eggshells all the time. It seems Dinah has become an expert on this, but it is really distracting from fruitful discussion by constantly having to say, "this is only my opinion"....or "this is only my experience"...saying that over and over-when it is obvious its only my opionion if I do not cite facts--makes dialogue less productive.
I mean-what next, are we going to require full citations with statements? I'm assuming, Dr. Bob, you'd require the APA format. lol
Here's a good site to learn how to compile the citations appropriately:
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/560/01/
I don't want to feel like I have to write as if I'm writing a thesis when I use this forum-I just don't have the mental energy to expend to carefully craft my words in a manner that doesn't necessarily express myself, but rather-to appease others. I don't mean that in the context of being civil-that doesn't seem too difficult-but it seems unhealthy to have to write to appease others; it's not insensitivity, it's realizing that people often do write casually for internet discussions and shouldn't have to worry about accidentally using the word "most" instead of "some"..etc. In other words, being linguistically correct (i just made up that term)....
My therapist has a gift of doing this-and I have said to him a few times, I do not know how he can do that day in and day out without becoming exhausted...
This has been bothering me for quite some time, that 'walking on eggshells' feeling I get here, and after reading Partly Cloudy's comment, I thought this was a good opportunity to chime in and let myself be distracted when I feel those urges...I must get back to work now.
:)
poster:violette
thread:951974
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20100321/msgs/952516.html