Posted by myco on April 5, 2009, at 17:44:33
In reply to Re: SUGGESTIONS, posted by Dr. Bob on April 5, 2009, at 16:58:59
So you don't ever feel that you are "babysitting" Bob? Don't slam me for asking Bob a question please...that's uncalled for. I agree it's good practice for people to readjust their communication skills to be polite and compassionate for others but also the others need to add to their own skills by learning to reinterpret or perceiving things said or done in a different light. My limited experience with therapy thus far includes this as a way of reducing added stress on oneself. Try to put yourself in others shoes if you know what I mean...giving that same compassion back to those you are listening to. I don't want to argue with you here Bob...i'm just trying to justify this in my head. I don't go out of my way to hurt anyone but seriously some people take me, and others, so serious in what we say, so misinterpreted that I wonder how effective their own therapy is for them...again please don't slam me. Just trying to understand from your point of view Bob...perception plays a large role in therapy. Does it not?
I'm also trying to bring a community spirit together here...one where the board is able to accept others differences. This is difficult as this board contains many little cliques or groups who don't associate with others or avoid certain boards because they contain certain types of people etc...Bob it can be a somewhat unhealthy environment. Please offer a response and I will let the issue go...I just wanted it off my chest is all. I'm an adult...I can agree to disagree if I have to. "Thanks for listening" (Dr Fraser Crane - hey...at least a smile come on, something? a chuckle? eh? lol )
myco
---------------------> > lol slammed for defending the administration. nice lol
> >
> > myco
>
> I trust the lols mean you realize it wasn't defending us that was considered uncivil. :-)
>
> --
>
> > the current rule system i don't think is optimal for working with how people actually interact, espcially since PB also has people who exists in perpetual unpleasant mood states, are especially impulsive, paranoid, used to not being heard or interpreted charitably, etc., and banning them sucks for the person banned.
> >
> > -PRINCIPLE: less 'civility warning' for honest disagreement, keep it focused to personal disagreements. in policing online fora, CLEAR rules are bad. they need to be enforced with judgement.
> >
> > -PRINCIPLE: punishment needs to be swift and certain for it to be useful. being blocked 20hours later is a long time off, and harsh and not particularly productive since during 100% of the ban time, the person has cooled off, and can't post about things unrelated.
> >
> > -NEW RULE: duputy can tell people who specifically do not get along well to not address each other
> >
> > -NEW RULE: better than 'banning' (the goal is to protect vulnerable, not punish the wicked or 'fix' their cruel natures, right?): let deputy 'edit' the offending post to remove personal hostility, and replace with extra politeness. save the bans for bigger cases.
> >
> > -GOAL: since what the person wants is to express themself, ban doesn't really work well. knowing their communication will have hostility removed, people might self-censor a bit more when they see something that makes them angry.
> >
> > -d/r
>
> Thanks for giving this some thought and suggesting some alternatives. I do realize that it can be a challenge to be civil when in perpetually unpleasant mood states, etc. And that it can suck to be blocked.
>
> Disagreeing in and of itself isn't considered uncivil. It can be hard to balance being predictable and using judgment. Blocked posters don't necessarily stay cool 100% of the time they're blocked.
>
> Swifter might be better in some ways, but deputies can't be here all the time. And it would give posters less time to apologize or otherwise work things out on their own, which I'd much prefer.
>
> Under certain conditions, posters can already be asked not to post to certain other posters:
>
> http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#harassed
>
> I think it's nice when posters themselves replace hostility with politeness. Sometimes friendly input from other posters is more effective than input, no matter how friendly, from the administration.
>
> Again, be the change you wish to see. Show other posters how they might interpret things more charitably. Encourage them to apologize. Suggest they not address those they can't get along with. Help them avoid being blocked. A post in time saves nine.
>
> Bob
poster:myco
thread:888433
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20090302/msgs/888855.html