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Re: Okay, I may have one crazy idea. » seldomseen

Posted by twinleaf on February 22, 2009, at 16:03:55

In reply to Okay, I may have one crazy idea., posted by seldomseen on February 22, 2009, at 10:16:34

I appreciate all of your thoughtful responses, and creative ideas. I actually agree with almost everything you have said- that it's important to balance the needs of the one and the many, that therapy is not supposed to occur here, and that escalating time-length for blocks appears to have a punitive aspect to it. I was just exploring, from my own experiences, what it feels like to have gone from a poster in good standing from 2002 to 2008 (not even a PCB) to someone who has been blocked three times within six months. All of these blocks, while appropriate under the present guidelines, were the result of my standing up for a principle I believed in- either the right to support and offer understanding and background for another poster who was blocked while in a personal crisis, or the right to protest publicly when I have been insulted or put down publicly. A "civility buddy" would probably not be able to help very much in these situations, other than to tell me not to express these views. Having participated in Babble for such a long time, I feel that, for posters like me, the problem is that the civility guidelines are now being administered in a way that is much more stringent and severe than they were a few years ago. If you look through a bit of the Psychology archives from several years ago, I think you'll see what I mean. There was a warmth and flexibility then which is no longer present. PCBs and blocks were much rarer, and were given for outright hostile attacks and extremely inappropriate language- things everyone felt were appropriate and fair. This is a very long way from one of my recent blocks, which was given because, in urging understanding and compassion for SSSS (now Happy CT), I quoted her as saying that she had stresses in her personal life which included receiving a "hurtful e-mail from a friend." My block was given because quoting Happy in that manner might lead the author of the offensive e-mail to feel put down. I do not participate in chat, babble-mail or e-mail with anyone here, and only realized later that the person who wrote Happy the hurtful e-mail was probably a fellow babbler, and that others may have known who the person was. To me, while my block may have been strictly speaking fair, it completely overlooked the fact that I didn't know who she was, didn't mean her any harm whatsoever, and only used the fact of her e-mail to marshall support for giving Happy more time to deal with the stresses she was facing. This extreme emphasis on tiny details over overall intent is as if I had spent an hour lovingly brushing and combing my dog's long silky hair only to be banned from doing so for two weeks because I had missed removing a single tiny deer tick that I didn't see.

A very important issue, which no-one has yet addressed, is that our therapists have begun to consider Babble detrimental to several of us. If there is one thing to consider, this is it. A mental health forum which therapists do not want their patients/clients to participate in is by definition a disaster.

As to the question of Psychology functioning as therapy, I know it is not supposed to. I was pointing out the ways that I believe it does function that way- and was trying to emphasize the transference aspects which I have noticed there- the heightened love and appreciation, the disappointment, the hurt and pain- all these seemed intensified over what one might expect.

 

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URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20081228/msgs/881701.html