Posted by Dr. Bob on December 23, 2008, at 11:50:31
In reply to Re: Please clarify and/or rephrase, posted by SlugSlimersSoSlided on December 22, 2008, at 18:54:09
> Please explain how it is wrong to say that my therapist and I discussed that I should not let people take advantage of me.
>
> And if you ask me if we were talking about Babblers or not, I will tell you that is not important to my story.
>
> BayLeafIt might, however, be important to another Babbler's story. And their stories are important, too.
--
> She has tried so hard for me to feel safe in therapy to talk about how I FEEL but yet when I do that on the boards, I run a high risk of getting blocked.
But this isn't therapy. For one thing, the people you talk about might be listening.
> I truly don't understand the I statements, at least a lot of it. If I say I like hotdogs but only with everything on them, wouldn't it be uncivil to say regarding Babble's rules? Because wouldn't people that think only mustard should be on hotdogs feel hurt that I don't think the same way? I just don't get it and I mean that sincerely.
On Politics, it's considered civil to be pro-Democrat, but not anti-Republican. So the idea would be that it's civil to be pro-mustard, but not anti-ketchup.
> Doesn't it go both ways too? Because I wasn't trying to be uncivil with my post. But now that I have to reword it, won't I feel put down by that?
You might, but the primary goal of administrative posts isn't support. The deputies and I have different roles. So it doesn't exactly go both ways.
> Let's say for example, my husband is an wife abuser, and my T says I tend to have relationship with men that are unhealthy. Is that uncivil to the men at Babble? or for example I say that I was abused as a child by my parents, and my T says I should not continue the pattern with my kids. Wouldn't that be uncivil to the parents of Babble, some who may be abusing their kids?
>
> That is where I don't get it, it seems like it is okay to some things, but not others. Like I can talk about my T being a jerk, but isn't that uncivil to the T's on the boards going by Babble's rules?
>
> SlugSlimersSoSlidedWhat concerns me is whether others here might feel accused. If you say you tend to have relationships with abusive men, and you've had a relationship with a man here, he might feel accused, so that might be considered uncivil. But if you haven't had a relationship with any of the men here, I wouldn't expect them to feel accused, so it might be considered civil.
If you say all men are abusive, men here might feel accused whether or not you've had a relationship with them, so that might be considered uncivil, too.
Does that help?
Bob
poster:Dr. Bob
thread:870325
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20081003/msgs/870486.html