Posted by Racer on December 15, 2008, at 10:22:55 [reposted on December 15, 2008, at 11:07:45 | original URL]
In reply to Re: respect and respectful ness, posted by caraher on December 15, 2008, at 8:54:29
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> It seems to me that they in fact do (by design!) limit self-expression. In many circumstances it is helpful for someone to find other ways to express what they think and feel, and I've seen some productive exchanges on Babble where people have explored that.Dr Bob's always said, to my knowledge, that honest and open self-expression is often therapeutic, but this ain't necessarily the place to practice it. The idea of reframing and rephrasing has more to do with all those psychological concepts about projection, etc -- that's what the I statements rules are about. Generally, though, this just isn't a place where one can express certain things perhaps as strongly as one might wish. (You'll notice, for example, that I really don't express my political views here -- those who know you will tell you I can't express them without rude language and extremely uncivil tone. My priorities say I have other things to worry about than learning to express my political views within these guidelines, so I just skip it.)
So no, this isn't a place where people are allowed full and free expression. Personally, I think the guidelines are a good idea, because they do protect some of the more vulnerable posters here. I also believe in them because I think they're helpful for teaching a certain sort of communication skill, which I do believe is valuable.
I believe in the civility guidelines enough that I volunteered to become a deputy here. As a result of that decision, I have felt so isolated from other posters that I no longer feel like a poster here, and have not felt like anything except an unpopular monitor since about the time I was "sworn in." And I still think it was worth it, because I still think the deputies here do "protect and serve." Yes, sometimes feelings get hurt. Even those who serve as deputies have feelings, and I can speak for myself in saying that my feelings have included a great deal of pain when I've read some of the things posted about deputies on these boards.
I do find a certain irony, though, when I read posts about how isolating posters find administrative actions...
poster:Racer
thread:868896
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20081003/msgs/868906.html