Posted by okydoky on July 29, 2008, at 13:47:35
Gardengirl,
First I found this link very helpful. Long ago I had bought a notebook about DBT and gotten too sick to even remember I had it. Thanks for posting it.
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20080424/msgs/840668.html
This dialogue with Lou confused me.
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20080424/msgs/840673.html
I have not been a part of admin before but for reasons others were complaining about I started to read some of the threads. The constant request for clarification, including one for me I felt were a distraction from the purpose of the admin board. Conflict resolution for lack of a better term. It was frustrating to me on several levels. First I have cognitive problems where I am forced to use a thesaurus because I have word retrieval problems. It takes me a lot of time and effort to write most any post. Please forgive me here I am not wanting to take another hour or so to write this all so correctly. It might actually be in need of some clarification. Second it becomes a distraction from any intent of the original posters request to resolve some dispute.
Beyond clarifying what was meant (see below) I wonder what you want to accomplish by your communication (again I am quoting) ?
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20080719/msgs/842601.html on this site.
Clarify what was meantWe all misinterpret what we hear and read, particularly when we feel hurt or upset. Its a good idea to check out that you understood them correctly. For example, you could ask, When you said...did you mean...or, what did you mean by...? Or, when you said...I heard...is that what you meant? Often times, what we think someone said is not even close to what they meant to say. Give them the benefit of the doubt and the chance to be clear about what they meant.
Think about what you want to accomplish by your communicationAre you trying to connect with this person? Are you trying to understand them and be understood? What is the message you hope to convey? What is the tone you want to communicate? Consider how you can convey that.
I bring a lot of baggage here so I do not want to read intent when there was none. I use this site as a resource. Other people saying or implying people have stopped posting here upset me which is how I came upon caring at all about this board and reading on it..
Perhaps you can explain what to me seems not to make sense. I saw what toph posted to you http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20080719/msgs/842553.html and was even more confused.
I read your constantly asking for clarification. Then I see a dialogue with Lou with you addressing him about it then I read tophspost. It is all very confusing to me.
But maybe all this or probably it has been addressed many times over before I was ever on this board.
poster:okydoky
thread:842849
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20080719/msgs/842849.html