Posted by Dinah on September 29, 2007, at 16:21:48
In reply to I feel bad, don't know how to cope (nm), posted by Deneb on September 29, 2007, at 15:59:28
I think you're doing very well, Deneb. I know that you don't always like to hear that because it implies that you weren't just fine before, and I don't mean to say that. You are and always have been a worthwhile human being, but I'm guessing that this way of being leads to less distress in general? It's a shame it can't eliminate all distress.
I can understand why you might be feeling upset. But try to detach it a bit from you. What you do is in your control. What other people do is their own responsibility. Now is yet another good time for those boundaries. Let in what you find useful, and let the rest go. What other people say can hurt us, but if we keep in mind who we are, it can't really touch us.
One of my favorite poems doesn't fit this situation exactly, but it does a bit. Please forgive the religious reference. It's included and I can't figure out any way to get rid of it and keep the sense of the poem.
"They may see the good you do as self serving.
Continue to do good.They may see your generosity as grandstanding.
Continue to be generous.They may see your warm and caring nature as a weakness.
Continue to be warm and caring.For you see, in the end, it is between you and God.
It never was between you and them anyway.~ anon"
Continue to be the person you wish to be. You're doing pretty well at it, IMHO. It never is about anyone else anyway.
poster:Dinah
thread:785813
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20070817/msgs/785926.html