Posted by Dinah on December 6, 2006, at 18:41:17
In reply to Lou in defence of Dr. Hsiung-, posted by Lou Pilder on December 6, 2006, at 17:56:54
I understand the worry about false reporting of deaths. I'd certainly hate to come back from vacation or a babble break and find that I've been declared dead. But, even in death, there are privacy concerns. I don't know if requirements should be made in these situations, but perhaps it could be encouraged for those to report the deaths to ask for a link to an obituary, although from what I can see, those are only available for a few days in the papers online. That could be forwarded to Dr. Bob only, to preserve the anonymity of the poster. Although come to think of it, that wouldn't prove anything, since Dr. Bob doesn't know our real names anyway, and an obituary doesn't connect in any way with a posting name. Maybe to some extent, we have to rely on the goodness of our fellow man.
I'm not minimizing the reality of suicide contagion, in the case of suicides, in the world in general. But suicides are still reported, even in situations where suicide contagion is even more likely than here. It was a major concern to me after sar's death, particularly.
But Dr. Bob can't take responsibility for every poster's reaction to anything at all that happens here. Suicide contagion isn't the only possible response to a suicide. In my case, I battle suicidal ideation frequently. But when I hear about someone's death from suicide, it's a shock to me, and my thoughts are of all that person had to offer, and what a loss it was to the world. So it's sort of a reality check to me. It's all too easy for me to think of suicide as escape. Reality checks put a little stop button in my brain, to think of it as something more.
In the end, I think my thoughts are this. Babble for some is a resource. They come and find information and move on. But for others, Babble is a community. Part of a community is celebrating victories and mourning losses. And in reporting a death from whatever cause, we're not only acknowledging the death and the loss to the community, but we're also acknowledging the person and the contribution they made to the community. The lives they've touched. The differences they've made to us. And in turn, we're acknowledging the same things about the posters who remain. Posters matter. Your life matters. Your contributions matter. You would be missed if you were gone.
Perhaps we ought to all remember to say those things more often while people are alive. But if you forbid death announcements, it seems to me it's not acknowledging the value of the person in life.
And for those who think death is romantic, and people would miss them if they're gone, I'd remind them that life is valuable, the ability to contribute is valuable, and they are appreciated if they're *here*.
For whatever it's worth, which isn't much. And it's just my viewpoint and I have no desire to defend or debate it. Take it if it's helpful, ignore it if it isn't.
poster:Dinah
thread:710976
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20061202/msgs/710995.html