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Lou's response to aspects of Racer's post

Posted by Lou Pilder on November 25, 2006, at 21:19:31

In reply to Re: Never mind » zazenducky, posted by Racer on November 25, 2006, at 13:02:03

> > I was frankly shocked at the tone Racer took with Deneb.
> >
>
> I'm not sure what tone you think I should have taken with Deneb on that post. She asked a question, I answered it as honestly as I could within the civility guidelines as I understand them. I know you're self-blocked, so I don't expect a reply. I would like to state, for the record, that I felt rather accused by this statement.
>
> My reaction to that statement, though, is mine to deal with. If my communication style is not seen as supportive enough by others, that's their view. When I answered Deneb, I was trying to offer useful feedback to her, which I consider supportive. Perhaps my style is the verbal equivalent of a "flat affect," which is an unfortunate effect of depression for me.
>
> >
> > I don't belong here thank God.
> >
>
> I'm not sure what this means? My interpretation, which I very much hope is inaccurate, is that you are thankful that you are not so severely mentally ill as to belong here with those of us who are.
>
> That interpretation does offend me, because so many people here strike me as working so hard -- and so successfully -- to reach a state of optimal mental health and balance. Putting myself aside -- I can make a pretty accurate assessment of my own mental health, so it's not a big deal to me if others have different views on the subject -- it bothers me to think that someone devalues the posters here based on issues relating to mental health. There are many people here on these boards who show great insight into themselves, enormous capacity for hard work to optimize their functioning, and seemingly limitless compassion for others. That has a great deal of value, in my eyes.
>
> >
> > Happy Thanksgiving and Merry Christmas
> >
>
> Happy Thanksgiving to you, too. And a happy holiday season, as well.
>
> While I have felt hurt by your posts about me -- and some of your posts about other deputies -- I have also seen you contribute a lot of value to these boards. I do hope you come back, when you choose to. Until then, I wish you only the best.

Friends,
It is written here,[I don't belong here...]and,[...it bothers me to think that someone >devalues< the posters here based on issues relating to mental health...].
In my reading of zazenducky's post, I do not see that she/he is writing anything that {devalues}another here.
In my seeing of the whole post by zazenducky, she/he writes that she/he was |upset| about ame sans vie dying. Zazenducky showed grief in respect that she/he was {upset}. When I see the rest of her/his post in context, I think that there is the potential for her/his whole post to mean to some that young people {are} vulnerable to what others post on these boards to them.I cannot conclude that zazenducky means that others should not be members of these boards, for I do not see anything written that could substantually conclude that.
In zazenducky writing,[..I don't belong here..] I see that that could have the potential for some others to think that she/he means that she is so upset that to keep posting could have the potential to devalue the death of this young man. I feel that I can not post here durring this time for that reason, except to bring this out here in defense of zazenducky, for I think that if all of the community could close for one day, that that could show the value of a departed member.
I just read the exchanges with Deneb and Racer in question here. I think that there is the potential for zazenducky to mean that at this time, let us give more value to a young man's life here and eschew the usual dialogs for a time to honor the value of the departed poster's contributions here, which are many that I have been reading on the main forum.
Zazenducky writes that she/he is self-blocking. I think that she/he wants to show the value of the departed member and so do I.
Lou

 

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poster:Lou Pilder thread:706108
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20061018/msgs/707255.html