Posted by SLS on October 7, 2006, at 9:04:24
In reply to Reporting possible incivilities, posted by Deneb on October 6, 2006, at 23:29:28
> I've reported some possible incivilities and I don't know if I reported them based solely on them being uncivil. I think I was a little or sometimes a lot angry when I decided to report them.
>
> I think maybe I was trying to "get back" at people whom I had perceived to have hurt me.
>
> I don't feel particularly good about doing that. I'm sorry I did that.
>
> I think I did want to get people who "hurt me" in trouble. But...to be fair, you can only get into trouble if you are uncivil in the first place.
>
> I don't think it was wrong of me to report the possible incivilities, but my reasons for doing so weren't exactly honourable.
>
> Deneb*
The point to remember is that incivilities do hurt. The reason that there is a reporting system is to keep Psycho-Babble safe. So, it makes sense that any incivility you feel the need to report might also have been hurtful to you. The emotions you feel are not to be judged so much as understood. It seems like you have quite a bit of insight into them right now. If you are not happy with your behavior, perhaps next time you might want to wait and allow more time to pass so that you can process the hurt emotionally and intellectually before acting. However, be aware that you might very well have taken the same action anyway.If someone you barely know punches you in the nose and you begin to bleed profusely, what actions would you take if the authorities were immediately available? Would you wait until you stop bleeding and the pain recedes to decide to forget the matter? Hurt can be a determining factor when evaluating the desirability of taking action.
Anyway, that's one perspective.
It is possible that the posts you reported will be judged as being civil, and that you felt hurt by them anyway.
I'm glad you shared your feelings here. That you are uncomfortable with how your emotions and thoughts unfolded and how they motivated you to act is an indicator that you are receptive to, and have already accomplished, psychological growth. You made it look easy.
:-)
- Scott
poster:SLS
thread:692574
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20060918/msgs/692667.html