Posted by zazenduck on June 20, 2006, at 20:16:56
In reply to Re: Zazenduck » zazenduck, posted by Tamar on June 20, 2006, at 19:50:57
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> Well, I know you’re not responsible for my feelings either! But I hope you don’t mind if I mention that I feel hurt when I imagine my friends hurting.What did you imagine would hurt her? that I think she should be blocked for saying something about new orleans that might have deeply hurt people who live there (or would like to live there but are still displaced)? She said she didn't understand my point so I gave concrete examples.I qualified it later by saying it wasn't about wanting people blocked it was about not wanting other people blocked for months at time for the same or lesser offences.
Dinah's post hurt me. Her actions hurt me. But I don't want anyone blocked including her. I just want the same treatment for everyone.
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> > Thanks for agreeing. I am so glad someone is willing to hear.
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> I think it’s something people can feel rather uncomfortable about, and maybe more people agree but haven’t said anything because it elicits very strong feelings. I can’t believe it’s just the two of us…I guess that's why I kept posting. I couldn't believe no one else would say anything. I don't understand how a deputy who supposedly knows the rules continued to post in that way. And I don't understand why neither of the other deputies chose to block or PBC those posts.
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> > It's not about me being triggered. It's about standing up for truth and the truth is that abusing children isn't funny. PERIOD It's not about my feelings. It's about standing up for people who are being hurt. And making jokes about children being abused desensitizes people to the real thing. It's about not standing by while people are bullied verbally or otherwise.
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> I wholeheartedly agree with you. It’s just not funny. I suppose I’m not hugely surprised that people sometimes joke about it, though. I spent a couple of years working with nurses and midwives, and they often made jokes about things that weren’t at all funny. It seemed to be a kind of safety valve; a way to release powerful but complicated feelings without being overwhelmed. I guess the stress of the hospital environment made it difficult for them to find other ways of coping. I do the same thing sometimes when I talk about some of my own traumatic experiences. However, I simply can’t find the subject of punishment of children funny. It’s too close to stuff I haven’t dealt with yet.
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> I think you are absolutely right about not standing by while people are bullied. I was just reading a book about trauma by Judith Herman, and she says that it’s morally impossible for a bystander to remain neutral; s/he has to take sides. It’s easier to take the side of the perpetrator, because that only involves keeping quiet and doing nothing. It’s much more difficult to take the side of the victim, because that involves sharing the burden of the victim’s pain. I think she’s right. And I think you’ve chosen to share the burden of the victim’s pain, which is entirely to your credit.Thank you so so much for understanding. I appreciate your words so much.
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> > I would love some support and comfort. I feel like I've been kicked in the stomache by the jackboots of inequity.
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> Sending you a virtual hot water bottle… I hope it eases the bruising…thanks' i'm taking it and signing off. I hope you have a good night. you've certainly done your good deed for the night taking all this time to talk to me. it means a lot to me.
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poster:zazenduck
thread:659042
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20060525/msgs/659429.html