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Re: How come I never get warnings, only blocks?

Posted by special_k on March 30, 2006, at 23:58:01

In reply to Re: How come I never get warnings, only blocks?, posted by Deneb on March 30, 2006, at 23:37:26

Hmm. I wonder what Kohlberg would be thinking about now...

;-)

Okay. So I have been struggling a lot but I shall try.

I don't know whether there is different treatment or not... I don't know. I think he probably does his best to be fair. I think we should try and be charitable.

> Rules are rules. Rules have to be set in stone. Rules cannot be bent. When the rules are bent, that becomes a new rule and should apply to everyone.

I think that context sensitivity should come into it. I do. And what that means... Is that the rule isn't completely black and white because context factors in. But I think that is probably okay. But when rules are changed (like reduced blockings etc) then I think that should be made explicit and there should (at least) be an attempt to explain how things are going to go from that point on.

Like when Larry got his reduced block. Don't get me wrong I was pleased to see Larry back but I didn't understand why he got leniency whereas other people don't. And I don't understand whether that signifies more leniency for other posters in a similar situation or what. I don't know what was considered to be worthy of leniency in that particular situation (with respect to knowing whether other people are likely to get the same thing or whether it was fairly much a once off or what).

It would be nice if updates to the rules could be updated in the FAQ's and we would get a new indicator on the FAQ's so we knew to check them again.

But I hear what you are saying. It is a bit crazy making to think that some people get more leniency for more 'personal' reasons than objective ones.

> I can't handle the thought of Dr. Bob thinking he should go easier on some posters because they are more helpful than other posters.

Well. I don't know how others feel about this... But... The point of the boards is support and education. Of one another. I think that people who seem to really grasp that and really help others... Well...

Maybe it is about reinforcing appropriate behaviour.

I don't know.
Have no idea.
Not doing so well really...

FWIW...

I think he made it pretty clear that he didn't really want you to do the scarf thing... He would have preferred you to have spent your time doing something nice for everyone who was going to the party.

But you kind of disregarded that...

WHich is okay I guess...

But the cost / possible cost to that...

Is that at times you say it is a 'small gift'
Then at times you say how much love you are putting into it which makes it actually a gift that is extremely laden with symbolism
Then you say you hope he takes it
(I mean if he doesn't then that will be a symbol for you of him rejecting your love)
But you say better for him to not take it than to throw it away (which you would take as a symbol for him rejecting your love)

And so what is he supposed to to?

Take it.

But he has already said...

I don't know.


I think you should talk to your t about this...

I think...

And maybe it is just me...

But I think maybe he has become... Something along the lines of... How you might have viewed your father when you were a little kid?

I don't know...

But I'm getting to thinking that...

I shouldn't really post this stuff to the boards.

I need to try and get some help IRL.

And I think... You could probably benefit from that too.

I dunno.

Just don't like people feeling hurt.


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