Posted by Larry Hoover on March 15, 2006, at 16:18:12
In reply to Re: amazing efforts put forth!! keep at it!! » Larry Hoover, posted by zenhussy on March 15, 2006, at 13:18:56
> Lar,
>
> Have you ever considered putting the energies you put into posting on this site into your healing work?I do. That's where I get this from.
> We can only imagine the toll that the considerable efforts you extend to this community take. Your role as advocate for a segment of population of this community appears, by your own admission, to be rather difficult on yourself.
It is. I really appreciate being acknowledged for that.
> This community is about personal responsibility and we have concerns that your health might be in jeopardy if your enthusiasm and abilities as advocate overshadow your awareness of your own issues and needs.
I'm fine, thanks. Just came from my counsellor's office.
Babble affords me an opportunity to be aware of my needs. To address them, one needs to observe them.
Had this thread not been in existence, with my considerable word count, I might not have yet become aware of my own fragmented ego. There are more than one me, each quite distinct.
I discovered this, on Sunday.
I know, you already knew. :-)
> Only you know the answers for yourself. Keep taking care so that you do what is necessary for your own safety online.
I'm stronger today than you've ever known me, though far more vulnerable than I've been for a very long time.
Let's not forget, I'm on nine different meds for the pain, and it's not working.
> >>>Posted by Larry Hoover on March 2, 2006, at 12:39:06
> And I've come to the conclusion that I need protection, or I must leave Babble. I care too much about the lives and feelings of other people, that I can't risk many more exposures to these triggers. I just can't.<<<
>
> >>>Posted by Larry Hoover on March 8, 2006, at 16:06:27
> If I might enter Babble every day, knowing that *every* post around me has at least had the inkling of trigger considered, I can start my day in safety. I want that, because I've never had it before, and it would bring me closer to being unsensitized, like you. All day, I'm not safe, every day. I have to be a certain amount of awake, in the morning, before I come....and I hold my breath, and I start clicking on things, to see which gets me first, my interest, or a trigger. And I want to be like you.
>
> Babble is the only source of triggers in my life, almost. It takes its toll.<<<
>
> >>>Posted by Larry Hoover on March 8, 2006, at 20:06:56
> I do post to a.s.d.m., but only in an advisory capacity any more. Got rid of the last neanderthal, and things are smooth, for the last while.<<<> We're aware that other sites you use and other groups of online "support" are very different than this place and we are curious as to how this particular site is the crux of your triggers when there are many other sites you use that [by different standards of judging] could be considered the wild wild west compared to Dr. Bob's babble playground.
Babble offers the illusion of safety. That's all I can say, at this point in time. But it is, no possible doubt, merely an illusion.
> You've mentioned that you changed to an advisory capacity over at altdep......why would that not be a possibility here? It appears you found a workable solution for the situation there.........is that at all a possibility here?
No. This is the solution here. Or not. It's not my decision.
> If not, why? Your ability to problem solve is well known and well documented online.
I really have no comprehension of how I am seen. What is well known about me. <shrug>
> We'd love to see that happen here if you're willing to continue working towards solutions instead of the halting nature of this thread with the "need to leave" posts. We understand the need to protect oneself. It must be very difficult to be as passionate about a subject and not be able to adequately discuss it due to being triggered....your posts in this thread have made that abundantly clear.
Time is not relevant, but for the need to have it. The extent, the duration, are not inherent variables. This issue is timeless, yet I am not.
> >>>Posted by Larry Hoover on March 8, 2006, at 20:14:50
> without me.
> I'll look in in a few weeks'/months' time. I'll leave babblemail on.<<<
>
> >>>Posted by Larry Hoover on March 9, 2006, at 7:06:36
> I *need* to go now.<<<
>
> >>>Posted by Larry Hoover on March 9, 2006, at 10:33:13
> And, I'm sincere, nothwithstanding that this is maybe the fourth time I've posted similarly, I do need to go.
> TTFN,<<<
>
> >>>Posted by Larry Hoover on March 15, 2006, at 10:13:21
> In a typical day, of the hundreds of posts I read, I have never found more than 3 trigger posts. And most days I find none, except when we've had certain individuals among us, or when I'm reading specific boards/threads.<<<
>
> Uncertain as to how this statement jibes with above statement:
>
> ">>>Posted by Larry Hoover on March 8, 2006, at 16:06:27
> I'm not safe, every day. I have to be a certain amount of awake, in the morning, before I come....and I hold my breath, and I start clicking on things, to see which gets me first, my interest, or a trigger.<<<"Sloppy context on my part. It only takes one landmine to change your life. Babble is a minefield.
> Can you see how those two statements could be confusing to outsiders? Any possible explanation you could offer to clarify your meanings?There is also the issue of individuals. I'd rather not confound this thing. We dare not speak their names.
> >>>Posted by Larry Hoover on March 15, 2006, at 12:04:10
> Also, I noted that many of the Babblers standing behind Voluntary trigger warnings do so because they hate the existing blocking system. That, in my opinion, is a major confound for this discussion. Some people expressed a desire for Voluntary trigger warnings only because they see blocking itself as already overly punitive, or unfairly imposed. They don't want yet another reason to get blocked, because blocks are themselves triggers.<<<
>
> >>>Posted by Larry Hoover on March 15, 2006, at 12:41:28
> I know how big the task is, but we can do it. I know we can. Don't turn away, just because it's hard. Please don't ignore me.
> Lar<<<> At least you are still free (unblocked, that is) and willing to share your opinions at this site. Perhaps you could show some gratitude for the ability to post as freely as you do?
I am. You're seeing it.
> Few on this site with a record approaching your PBCs, PBSs and blocks would have be given as many opportunities as you've received over the years. Consider yourself fortunate?
I don't have an opinion.
Maybe you should ask Bob?
> Like we stated in sub. line....keep at it Lar! You believe in you and that is enough to change the world.......just figure out whose world you want to change ;) ....and why!
I am more grateful than you....no, you do appreciate.
Thank you.
<bowing of head>
Lar
poster:Larry Hoover
thread:614568
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20060225/msgs/620679.html