Posted by JenStar on July 27, 2005, at 17:12:01
In reply to Re: stated purpose, posted by Dr. Bob on July 27, 2005, at 11:51:10
Dr. Bob,
thanks for taking the time to read & respond to our messages. I appreciate it! It's nice to know that I was heard, even if you don't agree.I don't mind co-existing with people who have different outlooks and beliefs than I do; in fact, I think it makes life more interesting and varied. And I learn and grow from it.
But I DO mind co-existing with people who seem unwilling to debate in a logical fashion, or who seem to enjoy stirring up trouble simply for the sake of the trouble, or with people who are just jerks. Some people really ARE just jerks, you know!
Maybe there is a psychological reason for the jerkiness, including traumatic childhood, abuse, chemical imbalances, genetics, etc -- but it doesn't make the person in question any less jerky! And it doesn't make me want to spend time with them!
In all honesty I'm not really such a "gentle soul" that I can't handle the admin board. I just get frustrated by certain posts. I know that ignoring it is a viable option.
But it sort of reminds me of this: Imagine a kid on the playground who is tossing stones at another kid. The other kid is yelping and crying. Certainly the stones are not hitting ME. I could easily walk away, unharmed. But something about the situation impels me to do something and stop the stone-throwing. I reason it out like this: If I let the stone-throwing go on, it's possible that the thrower will gain confidence in his strength and will only increase his stone activities over time. Maybe in the future he will expand his stone operation to include me or my loved ones as a target. And the person getting hit will see bystanders watching silently and will feel worse. Possibly he will become warped by the situation, or angered. It seems that it's better for the society as a whole to stop the stone-throwers. (Esp. if I'm not put into mortal danger by trying to help! If I were in such danger, my outlook and actions might change.)
I kind of see certain posters as stone-throwers, as bullies. I wish we could stop them from being so disruptive. I guess I have patience up to a point, then I snap. What's the point, I think to myself, of hoping and wheedling and coaxing and sweet-talking a person who is just not listening?
It also drives me NUTS when other posters act all sweet and kind and understanding towards the 'mean' posters. What is THAT supposed to accomplish, I wonder to myself. Is it a way to try and ingratiate oneself with the bully, hoping to avoid future trauma? Is it a way to try and befriend the bully so as to be the important ONE who understands him/her? Is it a way to be shocking? Is it a way to be different? It is a fascination with power and abuse? --Of course, Dr. Bob, I don't expect you to answer these questions! They're questions I'm thinking "aloud" (atype?).
I agree that SOME people are not aware of the consequences of their behavior, including people with certain disorders of the brain, and "normal" people who are on the thoughtless or unaware side of the equation. BUT - I think there are other people who know exactly what consequences they will derive from certain actions, words and phrases, or people who hope for certain consequences. And I know it's not a 100% guarantee that one can tell this from posts alone, but I think we can give it a decent shot at times. I also think that posters who come back again and again, with new names, but always the same agenda -- those people clearly know what they want to accomplish and are aware of the consequences that they hope to achieve and will achieve.
But I agree to disagree, and I like Babble, and of course I plan to stay here! Thanks for encouraging us to stay here even if we disagree. It's really nice to hear you say that. And I like Babble a lot, even if there are troubled posters and even if things get rocky from time to time! And even if I'M rocky from time to time!
Thanks for letting me vent!
JenStar
poster:JenStar
thread:531449
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20050716/msgs/534369.html