Posted by lorilu on February 22, 2005, at 2:07:30
In reply to parenting - possible alternative?, posted by greenhornet on February 21, 2005, at 10:04:01
> Dr Bob,
> I have read over some of the boards where I do not post just to get a better feel for you and your work. On the whole you are to be applauded for donating your time, wisdom and patience.
> I know that there are areas where you and I disagree, but let me say this please --
> That "parenting" board is the saddest thing I have ever read. Those poor children and parents.Where do you come off saying "Those poor children and parents?" I thought Dr. Bob's reply was going to ban you for a week or tell you to be civil. I have never been so upset at a post before. You should apologize...Did you think we wouldn't read this!!!
The parenting board is the saddest thing I have ever seen, only because no one ever posts on it!
My son HAD early intervention. I KNOW what ODD, PDD... all those labels plus more. I have a Masters in education and right now teach a first through third grade special ed. class with children who are autistic. I have taught for 15 years. I tried everything from the time he was a baby, now he's 7 1/2 and still sees an OCD specialist every 1-4 weeks and his psych. every couple of months. Our goal is to get him off the meds. We have specific goals for him to meet before he does this. He writes goals for himself out weekly. He is involved in baseball, karate, and Indian Guides.
>In One case I offered two books on parenting that I find very helpful, but on the whole, all I could offer those folks was tears and prayers.I didn't see them.
I have every parenting book made. I have OCD so I reread them! Do you think we are just a group of unread uninformed parents?
> How about something that would address very early parenting -- before those troubles begin?
He cried every day for 2 years when he was dropped off at preschool except for the last day because he knew it was the last day. Most kids cry for the first week, first month... AND the kicker was he loved school. I would pick him up and he wouldn't want to go. He was popular, the kids loved him, he 's smart... He'd be invited to a birthday party, and without the meds, he would go selectivly mute, even with the same kids, because it was new surroundings. We still get crying on the first day of anything, even with the meds, even with his best friends, even with karate but it changes to a different time.
> By "troubles" I mean that relatively new "alphabet-soup" used, saddly, by many of our collegues to discribe childhood behaviors.
> (ODD,ADD,PDD,FLK and the like.)Call it whatever label you like. If you go to a OCD doctor they will call it OCD, if you go to a PDD doctor they may call it PDD. It's all on the same spectrum.
My problem with what you said is is that you generalize my "life as a trouble".
> I am sure you have recognised by now that I am basically opposed to the use of mind/mood altering chemicals. I know that a few of them have a place, but wouldn't it be ultimately better to prevent negative behaviors rather than wait until a parent feels professional intervention and drugs are needed?
Are you suggesting that bad parenting "caused" my sons problems? Are you implying that if I breastfed that he would be ok today. My friends firstborn has PDD and some doctor told her that and now she breastfed her last 2 kids until they were 2. Unfortunately I have a strong feeling the youngest is Autistic. Are you saying that "daycare "caused" this? I didn't just "feel" a need~ I took him to a Dr. after I had done everything as a parent to rule out PDD.
By the way, we have Tourette's in the family and my son has ticks (his may not be Tourette's yet). Is that due to bad parenting as well. Are you saying drugs never work. I'm sorry, but they work for our family and you shouldn't put us down.
> I am sorry that I cannot think of a potential name for such a board.There are too many boards. The parents are smart enough to sort it out, if they even go to the parent board.
> You are right -- my practice was limited to adult mental health. But it does not take a Child - Adolescent specialist to see the tragedy of the poor families represented on that Parenting Board.
1. I am not poor. I just paid $100 today for his visit to his specialist. We go back next week and I will do the same. How many kids get one on one with mom and another adult weekly to talk about whats good in their life and what they can work on. Then sit down make some goals and maybe play a game? I wish I had that when I was 7.
2. He comes from a loving family and don't say anything that you don't know!I do see the need for it however sad it may be.
You are right, it was wrong for me to post on the parent board. It makes me look desperate. I'm not. Truefully I wish I could post to just doctors. I would chart his progress and they would send me back feedback. As a parent you always want your child's life to be easier than yours. It's hard when you have a kid that won't even eat pizza, hot dogs, hamburgers.... but will dring pediasure.
> Thank you again for all you do. Regards GreenhornetPS ... He's not my only kid....So I do know how to raise "normal kids". And who is really "normal" nowadays?
lorilu
poster:lorilu
thread:461231
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20050219/msgs/461656.html