Posted by gardenergirl on October 27, 2004, at 22:00:06
In reply to I was following until now...Now I'm lost » Dr. Bob, posted by gardenergirl on October 27, 2004, at 21:46:51
I'd like to try to reframe one of the issues at hand as I am understanding it...people's response to having their own or other posts submitted for administrative review...
I can certainly understand how it must feel to have your post submitted. And I admit I have wondered in the past if one of mine might receive the same scrutiny. I don't think that would feel good to me.
BUT...what if someone looks at the number of requests made over say a month period here on the board? And counts the number of times Bob has agreed and provided some kind of correction or sanction? I haven't done this myself, but one of the tools of CBT and cognitive restructuring is to look at the reality and the evidence. Anecdotally, my sense is that many more requests have been deemed "okay" and let stand versus resulted in some action by Dr. Bob. If that holds, and I sure hope someone undertakes this task...then the odds of administrative sanction are small compared to the number of requests.
Let's assume for the moment that this is indeed the reality. Would it help to then re-frame the requests for administrative review as an individual behavior rather than a judgement on your post? If the person requesting the review is (and I am talking about Lou here, just to be direct) using a different standard than Dr. Bob, we need to remind ourselves just who's standard is the one to follow.
If we can have some faith in Dr. Bob and our peers in viewing Lou's requests for determination as Lou's behavior and standards, and not necessarily those of the rest of the board, would it feel as bad? Could we possibly view it as something that exists mainly between Lou and Dr. Bob?
I realize I have not had one of my own put up by Lou for determination, so I can only empathize about how it would feel to try to reframe in this way. But what if we all tried it? Perhaps we can then either choose not to read the posts or skim them, or read and view them as an individual need.
And along the same lines, can we separate the behavior from the poster? Because as Dinah and Scott have both said in the past, there is much more to Lou than this issue. I'm glad I got to know more about him recently.
What do you think? (I admit I'm working on CBT skills, so those of you with experience with it, please feel free to give me feedback..either here or via Babblemail...)
Thanks,
gg
poster:gardenergirl
thread:407882
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20041027/msgs/408171.html