Posted by Dinah on August 5, 2004, at 10:34:31
In reply to My sis - and an explanation, posted by AuntieMel on August 5, 2004, at 9:53:57
I'm answering on Admin because I think most of my post is probably an Admin thing, not a Psychology Board thing.
I'm glad your sister is doing well.
I'm sorry I haven't yet replied to your email. I hadn't taken offense. I just had a sick migraine last night that I had left too long before treating, so I was laid up. And this morning I'm rushing to get something out.
I do want to say though, that many of us, myself certainly included, have had experiences with exclusion. I was the picked on kid in middle school, 6-9 grade. It made a huge impact on me. I had always been the kid who stuck up for others, yet when it was my time to be tormented no one stuck up for me. Some, who I remember with great gratitude, quietly befriended me. But no one was willing to do what I had done for others. The anger from those years still is with me.
I think, therefore, that different interpretations are possible with the same life experiences and the same set of current circumstances. I tried, I really did, to see the point of view of others. And I really tried to act on that point of view. I know that some people thought I was being hypocritical, but I wasn't. If I was willing to accept that a proposition was possible, I just threw myself totally into acting as if it was. But my ability to put a positive spin on things was pretty much stymied when no apology or words of rapprochement were forthcoming after a remark about colleges handing out degrees for money. I just couldn't, as hard as I tried, find a positive spin on that.
So here we are, coming from a similar background, with similar triggers, and yet coming to a different conclusion as to what the right thing to do was. You concluded that the right thing to do was to support the poster you felt needed support. I concluded that the right thing to do was to support the poster(s) that I felt needed support. Both conclusions were shaped from our memories of exclusion and bullying.
I don't really want to keep this unfortunate series of events alive. But I do want you to know that I bear no bad feelings towards anyone who is doing what they think is right, even if what they think is right is different from what I think is right.
poster:Dinah
thread:374340
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20040717/msgs/374340.html