Posted by spoc on June 26, 2004, at 11:19:06
In reply to Re: starting over, posted by Dr. Bob on June 24, 2004, at 19:29:17
> > I think the difference is that the someone may have had an upleasant interaction with the poster whose name has been changed.
>
> True, in that case, it's like giving them a chance to start over. Is that a bad thing?
>
> Bob<<<<<< I'm guessing that to those people, it probably feels the same as it does to you when someone gives themself a "fresh start" by sneaking back in under a new name while blocked.
It may not seem the same to you because you call the shots and in one of the scenarios, you apparently hadn't found the name changer unredeemably uncivil, or uncivil at all. But the poster affected may not have agreed on that ruling, or could have been justified in feeling offended even if technically no rules were broken. It's subjective -- people just like to decide for themselves whether a fresh start is warranted, and want their decisions respected, exactly as you do by making circumventing your blocks an offense of the highest order (I'm assuming you don't do that *only* because you are certain the person will again wreak havoc).
BUT -- I do realize that there are important cases of real-life need to change names, and those could never be feasibly verified, so the total anonymity option has to remain. I just don't know that the decision to do so without *any* statement as to why is the one, between the two, that should be defended/informally condoned by Admin.
This board does seek to be a community much more so than other boards. If the returning person only wants to seek dry, technical info such as on meds, maybe it doesn't matter as much either. But if they hope to interact on deeper and more personal levels with people, I think they should understand if others hesitate. (And if they changed names only due to feeling embarrassed about something, I think they should consider that coming back totally blind stands to conjure much worse possibilities than having embarrassed oneself ever could.) Yes, it is their right, but I don't necessarily think it should go hand in hand with feeling rightEOUS about having chosen to do it. (Again, except when a real-life matter was involved).
I'm in that same situation, but if I do change names, I plan to do something to make sure my cards are on the table. I think Yoshimi did it in a good way. First, by respecting people's concerns and being forthcoming that there was a reason. Second, by emailing some people to show "legitimacy" that way, which surely went a long way towards putting the whole board at ease by proxy.
poster:spoc
thread:358482
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20040527/msgs/360646.html