Posted by Susan J on November 26, 2003, at 10:13:30
In reply to Re: parasuicidal threats and false reporting, posted by Dinah on November 26, 2003, at 9:59:11
> So is the consensus that when someone is having suicidal urges, they shouldn't talk about it here because it might disturb other posters? I always thought here was a pretty good place because people here understood what it felt like to want to die.
<<Hi, Dinah,
I don't agree with that myself. I'd never want to ban someone who has suicidal urges at all, and to whatever tiny extent I could help that person, I would.
The difference for me is how it's worded. Saying, "hey, I feel like killing myself cuz I'm in so much pain, what can I do?" is a lot different than threatening to kill yourself just to get a reaction out of people on the board. Of course, I know it's difficult to figure out the difference sometimes, and impossible, probably, to make any sort of guideline about it.
And *faking* suicide or hospitalization, just to get sympathy, is really sad, too. I think there are so many people here who are sympathetic to people's pain, there's no reason to cry out in a deceitful manner for help. I think in those circumstances, the good of the many has to be considered over the good of the one.
I'm certainly not a therapist or anything close. But I *do* know reacting (positively *or* negatively) to any specific behavior reinforces it. I'd like to concentrate on reinforcing good, honest behavior, and try to ignore the deceitful type of behavior.
I think it's human nature to answer *honest* cries for help rather than deceitful, false ones. We reach out to people who need our help, not to people who hurt us. I know this point of view means I'm not the strongest most loving person in the world, but it's the best I can do right now.
poster:Susan J
thread:281008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20031120/msgs/284045.html