Posted by Zo on August 5, 2003, at 1:04:25
In reply to Re: blocked for 8 weeks » kid a, posted by Dr. Bob on August 4, 2003, at 23:28:45
>I don't know that there's that much more to discuss
Bob, that pretty much sums up the problem. Your problem. You *don't* know. I think you suspect there is more, but that the interpersonal is *not* your forte.
it really isn't normal, to be able to slough off the concerns of others.
In fact, to be genuinely clueless about the interpersonal - and in genuine friendliness - is one of the markers of a spectrum disorder. As is a keen interest in how things work, as opposed to how people feel.
I wonder if you've thought about whether you might be Aspergers.
Everyone here reacts as if your inappropriate behaviors are psychological. As would normally be the case. . .but here, that assumption is sadly off-base.
People try to tell you that you are not appropriate, as tactfully as humanly possible. . . .and after a year or two of trying, people get angry. People leave. Which is a pretty normal result to never, ever being heard. People look to you for some sort of leadership that you cannot give, and when it is not forthcoming, what I *really* hate, they internalize it as something amiss in themselves. After all, Bob's the doctor. Bob must know best.
My sense is that your idea of normal is *markedly* different than the norm, that you mean no harm to anyone, and are fairly mystified at the reactions you provoke - to the extent that you are aware of them at all. And that as a solution to the strong emotions of others, you turn towards the rules. The rules of civil.Looking to rules for emotional sense. It doesn't work.
Such a lot of hurt and anger. I suggest that at the very least, board participants read up on Aspergers.
Bob, you need to become aware of the fact that there *is* great conflict, you *do* hurt others. You already know I am *absolutely* *opposed* to the fact that your admin style causes injury to the feelings of the very people who need and deserve no more hurt. Injury that you are constitutionally unable to address or repair.
Aspergers have many talents, but admin to a board for mental health is *not* one of them.
Your behavior is thoughtless. To wit, the block above. And I am not going to explain how it's thoughtless. No logical explanation can ever suffice. Besides, it is consistent with Aspergers that no one else's words ever have *any* effect.It is characteristically Aspergers to have great difficulty changing one's mind. The neurological deficits of AS originate in the area of the brain that automatic attunes to others. A neurological deficit of empathy.
It's a fascinating condition. With its own gifts and talents,but unique among the spectrum disorders in that the Aspergers person fairly strews harm and hurt, can be even abusive, without any perspective on their own behavior. The empathy deficit also applies to the perception of oneself.
My hope is that this is something you will look into - I'm telling you you're a perfectly nice man, but the way you react to others is strongly suggestive of Aspergers - and that members of this board committed to staying here educate themselves to this condition.
Otherwise, it's all for naught. All the long threads, the tortured discussions. Bob is speaking Greek (geek?) and everyone is hearing Italian. Such a pity, such a waste. Make something out of this, instead. Above all, tell each other the truth.
Zo
poster:Zo
thread:248064
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20030508/msgs/248178.html