Posted by bozeman on March 30, 2003, at 19:18:43
In reply to Re: controlling/moderation of this site » bozeman, posted by Dinah on March 30, 2003, at 8:14:56
Thanks, Dinah. Like you, I dread of getting in trouble and / or being a bad girl. I'm much better than I used to be, and it only gets me sometimes, but my neurosis kicked in full-force over this situation.
I hate feeling powerless. I hate being misunderstood. I hate watching other people be misunderstood. I hate watching people be maligned. And most of all, I hate waste -- the kind of waste that happens when misunderstandings take place where one person gets maligned because the other person misunderstood, and since emotions kick in, (and communication is more art than science) a simple miscommunication turns into a battle where words fly, feelings get hurt, injuries happen, people take sides, more people get their feelings hurt, more words fly, and those who don't participate are left feeling powerless (as likely do many of the participants.)
Thank you very much for your vote of confidence regarding my ability to express myself with the written word, but it's more directness than skill, actually. The biggest part of it is honesty. I'm as transparent as glass, and what I think and feel comes through in my writing in spades. That's why trying to "moderate" myself is so hard. It's not an effort for me to be "civil" 99.9% of the time because that's how I naturally am. I was raised to be polite and it's my usual response. It's the rest of the time where I really don't *feel* particularly civil that's the problem. I couldn't think of a single thing I could say that wouldn't get me PBC'd or directly blocked, and there should have been something. I struggled to find it, but I couldn't. :-( That's why I plan to ask some specific questions when I have enough distance to analyze what went wrong (on my part.)
I really appreciate your support with this particularly (for me) troubling issue.
With the deepest affection and respect
bozeman
poster:bozeman
thread:213371
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20030221/msgs/214553.html