Posted by Zo on May 24, 2002, at 19:51:35
In reply to Re: I'll try this one last time and call it good » kid_A, posted by Ron Hill on May 24, 2002, at 15:30:36
Ron, . . .unless I'm mistaken (and it wouldn't be the first time) you are theologically aligned with Lou, roughly speaking?. .so let me speak to that point.
There's all kinds of ways to be uncivil. I'd personally rather someone speak their feelings, no matter how harsh, than to have this awful abiding sense. . .which I do, here. . that someone is being deeply uncivil whilst carefully wording things so as to seem not to be. I could be wrong, as I said. But I thought I'd let you know how unfriendly this sort of thing can feel, from the other side. Like, this is not somebody I feel like I could talk to, this is not somebody it feels like would hear me. Something I think women tend to especially sense.
Bringing up legal issues frequently only adds to that feeling. As does being real formal, being formal and legal when one really just disagrees---tell me if I've got this wrong--and being friendly when one does. These are not qualities, BTW, that can be changed just by one's wording. .. They do come across.. .
I thought you might be concerned to know that it feels kind of awful, this having a sense that no matter what another poster posts, he is pumping for his religious beliefs. It feels. . .unsupportive. In practice, it *is* unsupportive. It raises the most basic issues of trust.
When someone has any single issue that runs through their posts, it tends to put people off. It puts me off, because I feel like they aren't here for the same reason I am. . .and because these are deeply vulnerable things that we are sharing, on this board.
Our hope, I think all of us, is that everyone here respect and respond to the context, which is the sharing of intensely personal, vulnerable stuff, even issues of life and death.
I could be off-base, but I get the impression that people are responded to in a friendly supportive way when their posts affirm your religious beliefs, and are presented with very formal posts with citing legal issues when their posts do not.
It's sooo important people be as emotionally honest as they can possibly be, here. In fact, now that I think about it, that IS support.. .and it is also prerequisite for Trust.
Zo
Oh. Where does Jesus come in? I think of him as the epitome of emotional and spiritual honesty. . .As someone I could trust.
So yes, I guess I believe that at bottom, Civility is indistinguishable from Christianity; both demand we dwell in not only spiritual but also emotional--which is part of spiritual, isn't it?---kinship with others.
Hope this doesn't wander; I'm migrainey, but wanted to give some thoughts.
poster:Zo
thread:5247
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20020510/msgs/5277.html