Posted by Lorraine on June 26, 2001, at 9:57:44
In reply to Re: anti-drug comments » Lorraine, posted by Jane D on June 25, 2001, at 22:51:59
> >Jane: We are clearly coming from different points of view here and maybe it has to do with what is going on in our personal lives (or going on in mine, but not going on in yours?) I feel as though I have lost so much from this disease--including closeness with family members who believe that this is all about who can "sad-sack" the loudest. I was very close to a sister-in-law who does not believe that depression is a physical illness. As I struggle with this disease, she would like for me to "snap out of it"--after all, her life has been tough, but she's not whining. I can no longer be close to her because this just hurts too much.
>
> Lorraine:
>
> You're right. Our situations are a bit different but I've still identified with many of your postings. I've dealt with this since adolescence. And for most of that time believed that drugs were not for me. Most non supportive friends have long since dropped away or, more likely, I never formed the relationship in the first place. After 20 years it became apparent to everybody (even me) that I wasn't going to "snap out of it". So, to that extent, I can't imagine what it is like to lose the support of people who've been a part of your life for years.
>
> I hope that you can rebuild this relationship. It would be nice if you could get a third party who could tell your sister-in-law something like: "No. This is not the same as when you thought your way out of your despair over changing jobs or whatever. It is something totally different". Unfortunately, if you try to say it yourself it comes out sounding competitive. It also is easier when the meds are working. I think friends and family are more willing to accept that you have made the right choice when they see that you are happy. Of course you don't need their support nearly as much then but it's their urge to help that brings out some of the worst comments.
>
> >It's the same story with the rest of my in-laws and my brother as well. They have settled into a frame of reference that this disease does not exist; that people who take meds are making "cosmetic" adjustments to their moods
>
> I don't think they can help believing that. I think that, for example, if your sister in law had to admit that it was not just her strength of will that kept her going without whining that she wouldn't be able to cope with whatever difficulties she does have. I think its one of those fictions people have to believe about themselves. We just get caught in the fallout.
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> >Discovery magazine this week published an article about how anti-depressants alter the brain. The thrust of the book was that people who take them are looking for a little "mood boost"; that they should instead exercise. I know that there are a lot of things that impact depression and exercise is one of them, but I also know that no amount of exercise, meditation, positive thinking, talk therapy is going to cure or alleviate my depression significantly. To the extent that they help, I try them. I read the article and am so pissed because I know my sister-in-law will read this article and decide that I am using drugs to "cosmetically" alter my mood.
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> I got a phone call from a relative after the last publicity about exercise as miracle cure. It was well meant but did show he didn't really understand my situation.
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> >
> > When I come here, the last thing I need is more drug bashing. It is one thing to talk about alternatives, it is another to imply that drugs are unnecessary for major depression and that people who use them are weak and suffer a weakness of the will. It is one thing to talk about different lifestyles--homosexual, heterosexual--it is another to imply that homosexuals should "adjust", or that they suffer a weakness of the will. This is why I regard some of the anti-drug postings as slurs against the mentally ill. It's not that we shouldn't consider non-drug approaches. (I use a lightbox, take fish oil supplements, meditate, exercise AND take meds). It's that we should not "bash" people that take drugs for a physical illness.
> >
> > Just my 2 cents.
>
> I took a hiatus from using drugs even though I was warned not to. It was a mistake. I still don't know why I did it but I think that some of these antidrug sentiments were lurking in the back of my mind. (As an aside, I would never have taken the position that you or anyone else shouldn't use drugs - my blind spot was entirely for myself.) But I think if I'd seen someone else laying out these arguments against drugs I would have seen how irrational they were. Then again I might not have. But I still have sympathy for some of these posters - because I think some of them are like I was.
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> Less than 2 cents and less of a response then you deserved.
>
> Jane
poster:Lorraine
thread:1192
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20010315/msgs/1497.html