Posted by SLS on January 14, 2023, at 21:48:03
In reply to Re: 5 weeks » SLS, posted by undopaminergic on January 7, 2023, at 9:25:05
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> > My praying behavior is a bit odd, I think. I can easily pray for others, but have a hard time praying for myself. As far as my Bipolar Depression is concerned, I stopped praying for a cure decades ago. I acted under the premise that He knew what I needed so desperately without my having to petition him for it. I don't get the impression that God is so narcissistic as to deny me my healing for the sake of His ego.
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> > - Scott
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> In my experience, God loves you when you're feeling good. When I'm up and active and positive, he participates in my life on an almost daily basis. When I'm down, he's nowhere to be noticed. Putting myself in his "shoes", I can understand why he likes people who are up and feeling good, and why he doesn't enjoy getting bogged down in the lives of people feeling bad. So how do you approach him when you're needy? A sense of humour probably helps, but that too can be difficult when you're down.
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> -undopaminergic
>I hope that what I'm about to say reframes things for you in a way that works better for you.
My ability to connect with my spirituality, as well as my visceral connection with God, is impaired and blocked by my depressive state. God hasn't disappeared. I have. Now that I have reappeared with the lifting of depression, I feel more connected than at any time in the past.
It's a Catch-22. When you are mentally healthy, you have the capacity to feel God, but have no need to pray for your mental health. When you are depressed is the time when you need Him most but feel Him least. God hasn't left you. Your ability to feel Him has.
For a 2-year period, I was an ultra-rapid cycler with a depressive phase lasting 8 days followed by a normothymic phase lasting 3 days. It never deviated. Not even by a day. Well, actually, it did skip the depressive phase once. I used to keep a social calendar around my cycle. Not even a day. The reason I mention this is because every 11 days, I had the opportunity to watch my spirituality come and go with the switch between mood states.
- Scott
Some see things as they are and ask why.
I dream of things that never were and ask why not.The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.
poster:SLS
thread:1121301
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20220917/msgs/1121541.html