Re: To Linkadge..

As you demonstrated in your previous posted explanations regarding COVID, your intellect and kindness are extraordinary. I really hope you actualize your potential. I know this is unlikely while you are in the altered state of consciousness that we call depression. Given your challenges, you demonstrate great resilience. I don't think I have ever sensed you giving up or considering auto-euthenasia in your words here. Of course, no one can know your private thoughts. I hope they aren't tortuous.

Linkadge, 39 is very young. You probably won't believe this until you turn 62. Take my word for it. You have plenty of years left to build a fun, rewarding, and financially-stable life for yourself. Take advantage of the youth that you still possess. People need your help, even if they be students. You make an enormous, positive difference on Psycho-Babble. However, I doubt that this is sufficiently rewarding for you. It wasn't for me, as wonderful an outlet as it is. You and I It iythe first step towards attaining this But we both know that the first step towards is the resolution of depression and and only first step

There are going to be days when you consider what I wrote here to be Pollyanna b*llsh*t. You might even resent me. That's okay, though. I know it will pass.

I was hit with a severe depression one day at age 17. I had to drop out of college and take menial jobs. At age 30, my depression increased in severity, and I remained unemployable for 3 decades. At age 39, I was to be homeless. Easter Seals is a not-for-profit organization dedicated to helping people with mental illness. In my case, they put a roof over my head. However, they required that I work, go to school, or go to a partial hospitalization day program. Being unemployable, I was forced to spend 5 years there. I spent most of my time there sitting alone, looking down and staring at the tabletop, supporting my head with my right hand. I would sometimes force myself to drive the 35 minutes, only to turn around and go back home. It was not a positive experience, but it kept me from homelessness. The depression was torturous, although I was not plagued by melancholy thoughts. It was oppressive, though. It was agonizing at times.

I didn't begin to respond to treatment until I was 61. Doctors had me swallow my first antidepressant pill when I was 22.

I will always be on your side, Linkadge, even if I sometimes poke at you. You know much more than I do about neuropharmacology. But I know much more than you do regarding how the best and brightest research *clinicians* think. They are not neuroscientists. They are practitioners. They gain insight into therapeutics by witnessing hundreds of people respond and not respond to an array of different treatments - both available and experimental. I was asked by two different doctors to write papers for them - despite my depression. I don't think they gave my illness enough weight when asking me. The first doctor to ask me to research and write a paper was Baron Shopsin. He was one of the first true psychopharmacologists, and directly under Nathan Klein at NYU. Shopsin was one of the first American physicians to work with lithium, and helped describe a novel diagnosis at the time called schizoaffective disorder. Flattering. Anyway, I had quite a few brains to pick, and I asked questions endlessly. So...

Please give your brain time to establish a homeostatic equilibrium. It really doesn't matter where it ends up. The point it reaches will undoubtedly leave you depressed, but that's the cost of doing business. Going 2-3 months without making any changes at all in your treatment will be frustrating. After giving things some thought, I think you should continue to do whatever is now affording you a 40% improvement. Believe me, that's a hell of a good deal. If you elect not to follow these details, I urge you to follow the concept.

Some see things as they are and ask why.
I dream of things that never were and ask why not.

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.

Re: To Linkadge..

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