Posted by rjlockhart37 on April 28, 2020, at 21:01:06
i've been pretty depressed, but don't let it slow down, i do stuff online manage a few websites, class, not much, mostly career i've had a paranoia that i would spend all this college moeny, and get a job and not rerember any of it. Today, not even today, i forget so many things, small errors turn into big problems, thats all i can say. I'm being honest, i've always been wellknown for losing my keys, and memory issues, it's, i guess its a medical thing that hasnt got a name to it. I was trying to put a vacuum roller brush on last night, right when i started i knew exactly what i was doing and fixed and put it together, i turned it on, there was too loud noise, saw that one of the adjusters was not alinghed and right after it was like.....i forgot all of how decontruct it. It's happened with other things, its like i get going and then lose memory. Anyways, don't want people to know theis my problem, under a screen name.
I'll be doing good on things, and then have a memory warp, and forget what i was doing. Even stimulants, don't treat it. I'm more motivated and aggressive on amphetamine, but it makes me more aggressive then didn't solve the problem. Sober state - trouble following diretion, have to be told what to do. Amphetamine/armodafnil state - more alert and aggressive to do it, but sometimes i still screw up.
Just like all these things that screw up on my own, you know ... no one to call, i have 1 friend i can vent too, but i have deal it. It sucks. Do a jump into a political capmain and do advertising or ebing supportive. I orignally in 2005 wanted to be an investor.
Not sure where fate turns someone to go....depression because of a disability, even socially. You know, there's this thing called indominable will, spartan mindset. When i go to oscials or gatherings, i don't why....its like people avoid me, because im too intense in conversations, too much forr them so they mingle away. Plus feel awkward and tend to leave early, that wonderful relief feeling leaving a social.
anyways, i just had to rrant that out, before i get too depressed to not write anything, ill get so depressed i can't even, just feel like exisiting.
alright had to rant that....thanks for reading, im hope you know a bit more about me, have a spartan mindset, and be who you are and don't forget it
logging off....
"There comes a time in your life where you have to choose to turn the page, write another book, or simply close it"
-Shannon L Alder
poster:rjlockhart37
thread:1109865
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20200303/msgs/1109865.html