Posted by Chris O on December 29, 2017, at 10:30:45
In reply to My anxiety meds only work when I'm calm, posted by linkadge on September 19, 2017, at 7:52:19
Man, I so empathize with your situation! I am unable to remain relaxed and non-panic-y when forced into any type of scheduled work situation. In fact, perhaps the biggest stressor in my anxiety-filled life has been an inability to take care of myself, to work, full-time, without having a kind of constant panic attack. As long as my wife takes care of financial things, I am pretty much okay. However, once forced with the prospect of managing my life, everything falls apart. At 50, I have to conclude that I am cursed with the impossible to break habits that my own panic-filled mother modeled for me. Meditation and medication help, but they do not remove the underlying sense of disorder, insecurity, and sense of "I can't deal with this. It's too much!" This ("I can't deal with this. It's too much!") is the world I grew up in and I have to conclude that at my core, that is the modeling that shaped me into the person I am. It's unfortunate (to make a vast understatement) but I suspect this is why medication (and meditation) are only mildly effective for me. I remember your mentioning some years ago a family member worrying that he had committed the "unforgivable sin." This is definitely the type of anxiety territory I have been down many times, so perhaps we share some similar biological markers/modeling from our past. Hope you find some peace of mind at some point! Meditation has been at least doing something for me the past year. Giving CBD oil a go now as well. Be well!
Chris
poster:Chris O
thread:1095046
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20161215/msgs/1096469.html