Posted by Slugbrain on September 15, 2015, at 0:05:59
In reply to Re: Hello + request for assistance with ADD, anx., dep. meds etc. » Slugbrain, posted by SLS on July 26, 2015, at 21:33:51
Hi - sorry for the space between replies after your and others' thoughtful suggestions.
I'm feeling miserable, much thought of death (and tears, shutdown of most activity). Can't take action because of loving husband and daughters but ... I'm feeling less sensitive to how awful it would be for them if I were gone, and considering the possibilitybthat it would help them move on in their lives with more happiness instead of my deadweight.
I'm still on 450'wellbutrin but it seems to cause terrible tinnitus, and isn't covering depressive responses to particular triggers In this instance, paranoid/delusional sister insists I talk with her only through a mediator. I refuse to do so, as participating in a circumstance where i am viewed as a danger to someone,even if they're delusional, would be- is - extremely unhealthy for me. my brain will not let up on me about this, hasn't yet from the first suggestion of her fears about me, it "makes me" think i have caused this situation (CBT not controlling my thoughts, negative introject is just way too fierce, and I'm too weak).i truly wonder sometimes whether I have another identity within me at war with...me. Or is it just anxiety +++.
Thank you for suggestion of prazosin. And I would never consider someone's experience or genuine suggestion to be "nutty". I know you have all good intentions.
Im trying Serzone 25mg again though last time I felt very disoriented the next morning, lost track of where I was briefly 2 times, but I'm desperate. So low, so discouraged. Completely at mercy of what brain wishes to mull. Trazodone worked best for my brain control but too too sedating. I'm a lightweight. Pdoc thought Serzone would be a good next step but I'm wondering if there's a cleaner drug. Liver issues...scary.
When I have energy back I will look up prazosin and mention to pdoc. I am lucky that he supports my trying different things with some frequency. I am afraid, though, that I will push him over the edge at some point because no combination can get this attacking brain to stop.
One weird thing I experience sometimes when I'm obsessing is that an ibuprofen seems to help. I wonder whether Ive got too much inflammation going. But that's a tangent...
I'm not sure it is actually obsession,more like wires crossed so that I'm absolutely - neurologically - unable to go to another topic, I'm just constantly having to endure all the hateful things "I" am saying to myself. It's making me so sad and discouraged, and I feel out of control.
Not sure there are other options. Transcranial magnet? I am open to anything,
Thanks for reading.
I'm an optimist, but I carry an umbrella. Or 2. Sometimes 3.
poster:Slugbrain
thread:1080416
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20150901/msgs/1082486.html