Inattentive or unproductive or more moody in school not out.... Ding ding!! Sounds like one of the ADHD versions. Something related to being forced to concentrate when brain doesn't want to or can't. Years of that effect can build to a depressive reaction you may not even be aware you are having (so how would y be able to articulate to a doctor?
When I'm super inattentive I get extremely bored, and that makes me feel depressed. (Or maybe it's just a depression helped by ADD meds.) I constantly feel I'm underachieving and have a history of being that way. That thought sequence for me leads to anxiety and/or depression.
But your rage - that really sounds like ADHD, and for ADHD (hyperactive or combined) mistakenly treated as a depression or mood instability, antidepressants can make some things worse, or introduce new problems.
I probably should stay away from anything sounding diagnostic. It's just that I have read about people in what sounds like your situation again and again (usually in ADD research texts). Also was my experience to an extent.
A PDoc once had me try lamictal and other "-als". Felt like a total zombie. Lost months of productivity. Became more depressed because he didn't believe /agree with ADD idea, suggested "in my head". He next tried Ritalin. Almost same, dulling effect. Methylphenidate family does not work for me. Amphetamines work extremely well. Tiny amounts work fine (for me).
See drcharlesparker.com. He is a bit self promotional but if you can tolerate it, he's got excellent guidance for exactly your situation. Some ADHD people misdiagnosed and incorrectly treated as bipolar or similar find their mood hugely improved when off antidepressants and on ADHD meds.
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