Posted by b2chica on March 23, 2015, at 13:25:42
In reply to Re: lamictal » b2chica, posted by Zyprexa on March 21, 2015, at 9:21:43
thanks all.
lost job mostly because my boss was not honorable and blamed me for a mistake that was made. though i was having trouble concentrating that lead to one of the issue. i dont think loosing the job hurt me NEAR as much as How he did it. Totally unexpected. set me up in a meeting with 4 other people to tell me how horrible i was performingetc. i felt my ptsd major rise i was blindsided and shocked couldnt hardly speak, couldnt read what they handed me, head spinning..etc.
i stayed in same clothes day and night for a week
BUT, im past that now. just want to worry about getting well these next two months before i can look for another job.my hubby keeps saying i should go on disability. but Ive heard its really hard to get on.
i dont know.
all i know is now Im not in any shape to even look for a job. i have no idea what im going to do for a job. with my life. my degrees are so specialized that its hard to find a job in this town (other than the ones ive already had)
i almost feel like i have to go back to school. but with my brain/memory the way it is i just dont know that it will work..i feel like Im cycling. about every two days or so. but in general i have a HORRIBLE time getting up in the morning, let alone getting dressed or doing anything. but once i make it to about 1-2:00 im fine. Then in the evenings i have a hard time getting to sleep. mostly due to anxiety and restlessness, not because im not tired.
i see pdoc tomorrow and really hope she jumps me up to 100 asap.i also wish i could get back on my adderall, it was the only thing that really ever helped. i was very angry she took me off it. though i do have a couple left and if i go look for a job, i might take one the day before and day off interview that is to say id get one.
anyway, about diagnosis Ive had both psychotic depression, but mostly bipolar mixed. last fall/winter (from about september to Jan) suffered from the worst episode i can remember. all last fall was living on 6 then 4 than 2 hours sleep every night until i went into hospital end of jan.
anyway i can only live one day at a time right now. i want to give myself till the middle of april before i really start panicking about a job.
for now im working on getting stable..but im starting to wonder if ill ever be able to successfully hold a job.
"What is madness, but nobility of soul at odds with circumstance.
The day is on Fire, and i know the purity of pure despair."
Theodore Roethke
poster:b2chica
thread:1077685
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20150223/msgs/1077762.html