Posted by klein on May 4, 2014, at 16:17:42
In reply to Re: Agomelatine in USA » klein, posted by Beckett on May 3, 2014, at 0:44:05
> Hi Klein,
>
> I appreciate your input. You are right that I feel guilty about my illness (you said current condition). I am a parent, and for a variety of reasons, this drives the guilt. Beforehand, I had little guilt with the exception of not earning enough as my spouse and hindering our social life--but then my spouse would go out alone without much effect. I think CBT would be very helpful, and I discussed this with my therapist who felt this would be extraordinarily helpful.
>
> I wanted to ask you a few questions, and if you've written the answers here, forgive me for asking another time. I have been wondering what conditions you are treating. I've gathered depression and, maybe, anxiety. If yes for anxiety, what works for you?
>
> And since you seem knowledgable about current practice, do you know anything about suboxone? (I am not sure if that is the right name.) A year ago my physician suggested I try it. Recently the hospital wanted me to change from UltramER, and I didn't. I don't need tolerance, nor do I want to vomit if I run out of medication. But maybe I don't understand. My apologies if you have no idea. But I would love to hear more about you.LOL no worries about your "lapse". I guess I should have introduced myself properly, kinda late now.
I won't launch into an autobiography, just the highlights or should I say "lowlights"
My diagnosis is unipolar major depressive disorder with melancholic and (maybe) schizoid features (I think these "schizoid features" are just SSRi-induced side effects). Throw in "treatment resistant" lol.
Before the MDD hit I used to struggle with panic and generalized anxiety. Benzos helped a bit (read on).
I'm also a recovered alcoholic.
The reason I'm so adamant about CBT is that it *cured* (I know that's a heavy word that is seldom used in psychiatry) both my panic and GAD along with my alcohol dependence. I've been sober for 7-8 years now, and I had my last panic attack about... 13 years ago now? I credit my two rounds of CBT for curing both conditions - I'm starting round number 3 sometime next week.
You're sharp ;) You noticed that I said "condition" and not "illness". That's the CBT working. I'm sorry if I sound new-agey but I firmly believe that we create our reality with our thoughts. Before anyone yells at me... Yeah, I think biochemistry plays a big role in how we feel. Ditto our life history.. and so on. But it's up to me... and it's up to you... to decide how to approach life.
For years I was told that alcohol addiction was a lifelong illness with no known cure. I was desperate. I relapsed and drank again no matter how hard I tried. Then I did some CBT.. read a few books. And I recovered for good. People on another board call me co-cky whenever I say that I'll never drink again. But it's the truth. My new reality doesn't include alcohol.
And, as for being called co-cky, well... no. I feel very humbled and grateful because a power much greater than me or you or alcohol helped me out, very gently. I could have never done it alone.
I prefer the word "condition". When I was ill, I had no cure. Why bother to live then? To prolong the suffering? For my family? My friends? I felt guilty and ashamed and useless... until I found "relief" by feeling empty. None of that had any meaning anymore.
Anyway. I'll stop here because you've probably figured out where all this is leading to ;) Along with your meds CBT or DBT or any practice or method that helps you rearrange your thoughts might help Beckett. I can't wait to start therapy again next week to see how it can help with my own current condition. Along with spiritual practice, which I'm starting again tomorrow. I know there's no need to join an actual group to practice meditation and so on, but I can't do it alone.. oops I mean "I prefer to ask for help and guidance".. I wish I could have done it before, but I felt too messed up to think straight. And that's where the meds came in and helped a whole lot.
Warmest regards.
poster:klein
thread:1064857
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20140419/msgs/1065218.html