Posted by SLS on March 26, 2014, at 18:13:26
In reply to Re: Would you do TMS? Doing it anyway, posted by stargazer2 on March 26, 2014, at 14:45:50
> How about you? How do you deal with feeling so alone with an illness so many say they have but I know they don't exactly know what I'm dealing with.
I don't know.
Survival instinct?
I held on to hope that I would one day be treated successfully.
I truly believe that life is worth living when one is not imprisoned and suffocated by a crushing depression. I decided to take the gamble. I have gambled that my illness would be cured or brought into remission soon enough so that I could enjoy life in my remaining years. My remaining years are passing by all too quickly. Perhaps I have already lost the bet? I don't know.
I lived through my 30s in solitude. The only people I spoke to were my parents. No friends. No enemies. I was very fortunate that my parents believed that my illness was neurobiological, so I didn't have to be completely alone in life. My suffering was acknowledged, even if it wasn't well understood.
I take 7 drugs. I am perhaps 35% improved. It is worth it. I am improved enough to venture out of the house and maintain a few relationships. Still, I am reliant on hope to choose life over death. This is made easier by my being improved enough not to be plagued by neurobiological suicidal states.
- ScottSome see things as they are and ask why.
I dream of things that never were and ask why not.- George Bernard Shaw
poster:SLS
thread:1059953
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20140307/msgs/1063277.html