Posted by merpmerp on March 19, 2014, at 20:33:16
In reply to Re: Another step on the Lexapro journey » merpmerp, posted by phidippus on March 17, 2014, at 13:01:21
Eric,
I've been spending the last few days re-reading my old posts from 2010/2011 to try and remember exactly what happened. I have a few questions, I'm honestly asking if you or anyone else have any ideas as to why this all happened. Brainstorming and all that.
I'm going to post a condensed timeline.
2006-2007: Generic Prozac (Pliva manufacturer) 20-30 mg. Really felt that it saved my life, as it "cut the bottom out" of my worst depressions. Felt what I thought "normal" should feel like. Forgot to take it over the summer vacation and wound up going off because I felt "cured".
Aug 2008: Took citalopram for about a month for a "transition" to grad school, can't remember it either helping or hurting.
2009 Mar-Sept: Took generic Prozac (Mallinckrodt) and then when it seemed to be making me worse with akathisia/diarrhea/intrusive thoughts (although I thought it just "wasn't working" and I must really be bad off), name brand Prozac, 10-30 mg.
2009 Sept: Switched to Lexapro name brand, 10 mg. Switched from 5 to 10 mg every now and then, corresponding with the seasonal part of my depression. Never felt good. Felt sedated, and at the higher doses akathisia, diarrhea and intrusive thoughts.
Late 2010: Realized the Lexapro was making things worse and dropped to 2.5 mg *against my pdoc's advice*. I wrote in an earlier thread that I also tried 1.25 mg but felt 'edgy', I don't remember this now.
Early 2011-mid Jan 2014: Lexapro name brand, escitalopram Teva brand, then Accord Healthcare brand starting in Oct 2013. Felt good until mid-late Jan. Normal. Not sedated, not restless, just living life with its ups and downs and changes. Then the akathisia, diarrhea, intrusive thoughts started to return a couple of months after they switched my generic manufacturer in Oct 2013. That may or may not be related, but I am posting all info.
-My question is, why did the Prozac help me so much in 2006-2007? Why then was I unable to tolerate it again in March 2009? Why did Lexapro work so well for 3 years?
-Are all SSRIs bad for me now for some inexplicable reason?
These questions have been what really caused my torment for so long. The inability to answer "why" has eaten at me a little bit ever since it happened. This is the reason I stayed so long on the meds even when they seemed to not help, because "Well, it *should* work because Prozac worked like a charm the first time."
The last question is the one that really bothers me. In some ways my scientific training helps me, in some ways it hurts because if I can't answer "why", I have a great deal of trouble just accepting "what is".
Sorry for the long post.
Diagnosis: recurrent melancholic depression
Meds: Lexapro since Spt. 2009; currently on 2.5 mg plus occasional l-tyrosine.
poster:merpmerp
thread:1062452
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20140307/msgs/1062788.html