Posted by b2chica on February 21, 2014, at 18:40:29
In reply to Re: Latuda vs Zyprexa » b2chica, posted by Phil on February 12, 2014, at 17:52:48
thank you all. went on the 'sun' generic and took it for a week. became dumb as a stump. i then went off it and was feeling better for a while.
i have a much harder job now that i can't loose. i just started last september.i am now doing awful. i mean really bad :'(
i saw T yesterday, and i can't get into this new pdoc until end of next week. my T tried to call pdoc but didn't return her call....
i need help now.
i miss my old pdoc SO badly, he could have solved this issue over the f'n phone, probably in his sleep.my anxiety is crazy high, can't sleep at nights, can't eat during the day so my blood sugar is all over the place.
every day my thoughts get darker and take over more... i
i can't do this again guys.
I've got TOO much..
a really great job. i have two wonderful children...
i can't go back to the darkness. it will kill me i know.I'm still at work. i need to go home but i'm like frozen and can't move from my chair.
i don't want anyone to talk to me, i don't want anyone to touch me. i want to curl up in a ball.i don't know if i even feel sadness.
just emptiness. a hollow shell that wants to disappear.
I'm scared.****
i have perphenazine at home, i have haldol at home, would any of those help me right now?
until the fu*king pdoc responds i don't know what to do. the zyprexa wont work on this. last time it helped my anxiety but didn't do anything with the mood (which was weird for zyprexa).
i wish my f*cking insurance would cover the ReAL zyprexa for me....
i'd do that.GOD i need to CURL UP WITH this stupid website, cuz its the ONLY place i feel safe right now.
**************
i only mentioned heroin because i know that it would most likely kill me.
i've actually never done any type of illegal drug before.
but I'm to the point where i'm willing to try.
especially right now.
maybe i should smoke some weed?can anyone help me?
i don't want to be scared anymore.
i don't want to be here anymore.
i don't want to go back to that darkness.
i just can't do it.***************
i emailed my T and begged her to try to contact the pdoc again.
***********and btw, when i called my pdoc's office today (to see if i could get fitted in, or if there was a cancellation) the f*kg nurse was very condescending and was MORE concerned that i had xanax, and where did i Get it from cuz my pdoc didnt rx it! that's all she worried about, not that i'm having a fu&king breakdown and my systems going to hell in a hand basket!
************
i need to go home now.
i will try to just go home and go to sleep.
its almost 7:00, only one hour before kiddos go to sleep. i hitnnk i agcan do that.i'm feeling kinda loopy from all the gabapentin took.
i have such Stroibng urges to keep taking an taking and taking and taking and taking and taking and taking...............
i need to leave.
why can't i leave.i love you all.
i will be back tomorrow.
sweet dreams all.
b2cc"What is madness, but nobility of soul at odds with circumstance.
The day is on Fire, and i know the purity of pure despair."
Theodore Roethke
poster:b2chica
thread:1060353
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20140214/msgs/1060990.html