Posted by rjlockhart37 on November 14, 2013, at 20:43:52
well....write this real quick...its been 5 years since i was ripped off dexedrine, and a couple times i used methamphetmaine from drug people, and i have to say the people on the street are controlling manipulators, they will screw you, you might run into someone who's gonna be a friend, and will help you....there's always gonna be nice people, but i did this stuff on the street....and i got screwed over bad, i didnt know their terms they used, why they would leave and more people come, which basically that means they bring more people because they have drugs, and they want sex....the drug dealer was the most manipulating thing i have ever seen till now, he told me he would give me medicine for ADHD, and at first i thought it was going to be adderall....because adderall is around on the street....nope, it was crystal meth....and once i inhaled it, it was the most intense amphetamine rush i ever experienced....its just diffrent from amphetamine....methamphetamine has more psychology stimulating effects, you do lots of things wierd....pic at your skin, clean the house till there is not a spec of dust left....it makes you obsessed over things, hyperfocused for hours....
but after all that stuff...i've finallly made it possible to make myself to go to school, i have lots of learning deficits but i don't care now because just sitting around and feeling hopeless is the worst weapon someone can use against themself, its a step down from suicide, you don't like life....miserable, down, depressed, self loathing....it is....its step down from suicide, because i don't feel alive at all....so i made a descion to get out of it....and whatever comes, and things i screw up on....thats what happens...learn from it....spent 5 years in level 4 in the depression scale....i've changed now, if the meds work or not, getting a succesful career is a main focus....
ventureout....get out of your comfort zone, if you have substances that help use them, my case i have no backup and the only back up i have is myself....and god....but still god takes too long sometimes....
venture out friend....
r
not a scholar but understand distress
Med:
Prozac 60mg
Lamictal 400mg
Zyprexa 20mg
Nuvigil 250mg
poster:rjlockhart37
thread:1054381
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20131025/msgs/1054381.html