Posted by topdog on March 7, 2013, at 8:08:50
Hi, this is my first post, though i have read the forum for years..lol.
I have had depression for 10 years from which i wasn't depressed for 5 when i was on Nardil, now i am 28. I have too little dopamine in my brain so SSRI's or TCA's can't fix this only a MAOi - Nardil can. Now i have been of off Nardil for 3 month's because the med is not available in my country and i can't obtain it from UK anymore.
For the last months i have been in what i call the "zone-0" where i have no emotions, no motivation, no social life, just this extremely sh*t*y feeling of nothingness. I have tried sport, work, going out with friend's, therapy, nothing helps. It is the constant line of feeling absolutely no emotion whatsoever, only painful empty existence.
I can feel how there is some kind of malfunction in this organism i exist in.. yet i did't create it, so, how should i know how to fix it? lol
Without Nardil everything is too hard for me and i stay at home 98% of the time, so, basically, i'm dead, or.. actually worse, i'm in pain.
As far as i know, Nardil is the only med that gives me life. Without it, it's like being locked up in 1 square meter jail. I have tried every other AD known to human race with 0 results, all the SSRI's, TCA's, even antipsychotic(shame on me). But...when on Nardil ..I'm the top dog patrolling the beach:) ..feeling the system booted up again
So, as far as i can see from my square meter, my options are basically 0.
What should i do? Should i move to another country where Nardil is available or i should i use all my savings to go to foreign country and try to obtain loads of Nardil and then came back home? I wouldn't know how the above would even be possible me feeling so anxious and depressed all the time.
Sorry me being so negative! But my mind just can't grasp the concept that, there exists a situation from where there is no way out.... :S
Please help! My main question is that how would i get my dopamine levels up again, any other substances??
Also, has anyone had any experience with the new, upcoming anti-depressant class, Ketamine based AD's- "NMDA receptor antagonists". Have anyone tried Ketamine itself, have you got relief from it?
Greetings to you ACE-the Nardil veteran! Also, best wishes Philippa for your supporting posts.
Let's fight it on!
topdog
poster:topdog
thread:1039777
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20130222/msgs/1039777.html