Posted by hyperfocus on February 14, 2013, at 13:05:17
In reply to Re: I think I've lost my faith in genetics. » hyperfocus, posted by Dinah on February 14, 2013, at 12:18:30
> Sigh. I suppose I have achieved the most important things in life, so I wouldn't say I was a failure.
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I wasn't even talking about what your achievements were. I was talking about what you believed in and what you consider important in life and where you find fulfillment.> But resilient I am not. My office is still looking askance at me for sobbing (not crying, but sobbing complete with heaving gasps) about my computer repair problem. I'm fortunate to have people around me who are understanding when I melt down. But I do tend to get easily overwhelmed. Stress causes me all sorts of physical and mental problems.
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A lot of people are born neurologically hypersensitive to other people in their immediate environment. More focus is being placed on isolating and treating this kind of hypersensitivity as not simple fear and anxiety. Shyness and anxiety around other people have nothing to do with our general ability to cope with stress. Some people can face pretty much any adversity or crisis on their own but people saying or doing something minor to them makes them cry. When your child or dog gets sick at home do you break down and cry and not know what to do?Hypersensitivity has nothing to do with resiliency. Resiliency measures how well you can hold on to your core values and beliefs during adversity.
Was there ever a day when you decided: "I really don't need to work this hard, nobody will ever know the difference." Or "I don't need to worry about my mother or husband or family this much." Or "I've done enough, time for everybody to live their own life so I can have more free time for myself."
>I started therapy when I was 13, I think, at which time they put me on Thorazine for a year. I still think that was overkill for severe anxiety.
Anxiety in hypersensitive people is debilitating but this isn't the same as being deficient in something. To me it's the same principle as when ADD kids are told to do their homework without any TV or other people around and get called stupid or lazy or at best put on Adderall. As psychology and psychiatry develops, recognizing that there are neurological differences in people's brains that are not just deficiencies will be key in better helping a lot of kids like you.> I don't think I'm pessimistic, but I don't expect the best either. My perennial outlook is that things probably won't be as bad as your worst fears, but probably won't be as good as your hopes either. I assess birthday success by whether anyone died that day.
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I think the truth is none of us can really look further ahead than that -- whether we will be alive the next day. People who believe their hopes have been fulfilled solely through their own efforts are naive at best and probably delusional. The things a lot of people hold on to and value in this world are not great candidates for sustaining optimism and resiliency.We don't have a lot of control over a lot of things -- not especially our genes or parents or where we're born or whatever. The thing we DO have control over is in what we believe and what we consider important and how we think of and treat others. I see a lot of people everyday who I know are mentally weak and selfish and nihilistic and will crack at the slightest hint that life isn't what they thought it was. From what you write about here I never considered you in that category.
C-PTSD: social phobia, major depression, dissociation. 20 yrs duration.
Asperger's Syndrome.
Currently: 150mg amitriptyline single dose at night. 75mg Lyrica occasionally.
Significantly improving.
poster:hyperfocus
thread:1038000
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20130205/msgs/1038071.html