Posted by brynb on January 24, 2013, at 17:45:49
I'm back and I feel like I'm whining but I really don't feel that I have any other support or outlet.
My depression and anxiety is so bad I can hardly move from bed. I can't watch t.v. I feel totally, utterly hopeless and I have little fight left in me.
Because things have been so bad (coming off my recent psych ER stint and being sick & hospitalized prior to that), my mom surprised me w/ a long spa weekend in Miami. It was so sweet and caring of her but I'm still moping and can't control my emotions (weeping constantly, having outbursts, trying to validate my emotions). We're supposed to leave tomorrow (it's also extremely cold and depressing in NY right now), but she's already sick of my whining and I don't want to ruin things. My family is so hurt & sick over my suffering, and it only makes me feel worse.
All I'm on is Lexapro 10 mg & trazadone for sleep. My mom is holding my Xanax. All of these Rx's are a hybrid of a botched withdrawal attempt. Benzos stopped working. Nothing even slightly eases the pain. Things like Seroquel and Zyprexa don't touch what I'm feeling. Tramadol doesn't work. As a last resort, I just got Fioricet w/ codeine from my reg doc (my pdoc just dumped me and I'm not seeing a new one until next week). Pain pills are the only meds that come close to easing things up. Wise? Doubtful, but I'm hoping it'll get me by...I see no harm in using them as a bandaid.
I'm just looking to vent. I feel like I'm losing my mind completely. I'm desperate and don't know what to do anymore.
Thanks,
b
poster:brynb
thread:1036389
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20130124/msgs/1036389.html