Posted by Meltingpot on December 30, 2012, at 16:42:50
Hi,
I've spent the last ten years trying numerous antidepressants and combinations of antidepressants with some success. But I've never responded as we to them as I did when I was in my 20s, when I actually felt truly cured of depression. I was that well that I was even able to stop them cold turkey and was ok for three years without any medication at all.
At the age of 35 my depression and anxiety came back, this time with suicidal thoughts (which I never had previously) and although medication has helped I've never really felt cured or that my depression was just a thing of the past.
I manage to go to work and sometimes can watch the television and enjoy something on television and I've started a part time degree so you could say that I'm doing ok.
However, I don't really feel like I want to form new relationships anymore. I have been having an affair with a married man for the last 2 years, because that felt safe and by seeing a married man they wouldn't have too many expectations of me and I wouldn't have to 'pretend' all of the time.
I've found a specialist who is willing to refer me for a DBS trial and for a Ketamine trial but he did say that his first option would have been ECT. However, he is unable to refer me for ECT because the NHS (in the UK) won't fund it.
I am not sure what to do? I would pay for unilateral ECT if I can find somebody to do it privately, I could go on the Ketamine trial but I'm not sure what the point of that would be if even in the event it works, it only works for seven days. Also what would the impact be of taking Ketamine chronically??? The DBS option, part of me thinks I should go for it but then I'm scared of getting brain damage.
I know that nobody can really answer my questions for me, I just wanted to get it off my chest.Denise
poster:Meltingpot
thread:1034230
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20121217/msgs/1034230.html