Posted by ChicagoKat on November 30, 2012, at 13:07:31
In reply to Fears Again About Decisions, posted by Phillipa on November 29, 2012, at 9:24:25
Oh dearest Phillipa, you have no idea how much I understand. I get all the exact same worries and indecision. I think that whatever decision you make, you have to make it for YOURSELF and no one else. You have a disease, even if others might not really count it as important. You have to take care of yourself above all others. Myself, I have cancelled THREE trips this year to go to Arizona to see my family. The latest cancellation was for thanksgiving. I just knew in my heart I was too sick and unstable to go. Fortunately they understood,, which actually amazed me, but I would have made the same decision no matter what their reactions.
You are NOT a bad person for feeling deep in your heart that you don't want to go...because that is what I'm sensing from you, that you really would rather stay home. (of course I could be completely wrong) And since your daughters don't seem to appreciate what a great Mom they have, you should think 'so what' if you don't go. And if you do decide to not go, NO GUILT my friend. Remind yourself that you are taking care of YOU and that is the most important thing by far.
Another solution I've found is deciding with my husband that we are just skipping Christmas this year. We did that last year and it was great. This year I'll probably send out cards, but that may be about it. We'll see.
But look deep in your heart and without thinking of anyone else, see the answer that is there, and then do it, and no matter what, no guilt. You come first and you have to take care of yourself above anything else.
Sorry for such a long post, but I hope at least part of it helped. I am thinking of you.
Kat xxxx
Ive got a really bad disease
Its got me begging on my hands and knees
So take me to emergency
Cause somethin seems to be missing
Somebody take the pain away
Its like an ulcer bleeding in my brain
poster:ChicagoKat
thread:1032127
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20121130/msgs/1032191.html