Posted by rjlockhart37 on November 12, 2012, at 19:47:58
i've gotta say i live in fear from alot of things and mask it with false confidence. When I go out...do stuff, i act like I am sure of everything, but when I get home, lay in the bed ... all that stuff comes off and I lay in fear thinking of how im going to take on the next day, fearing my mask of confidence will fall off. I told my pdoc and really she didnt do anything...she just said a pet awnsers like "you do it!" "everything is possible" "you can't do it unless you try" im so sick of hearing those phrases I could go have a beer and sit back and act like im positive....with alot of complaining along with it. Everytime I do try, it causes difficulty and fear of failure and its happened alot, that's why I live in fear because of failure and exposure of vunerabilities.
My grandmother...i don't really want to tell about my family history but my grandmother loved me much, always told me im the apple of her eye, but she would always talk about past events in the 1950-1970's of the worst anxiety periods of her life. Someone I live with told me she rerembered she would go into a room in the dark and sit and smoke for hours. At parties she would go into a room by herself and stay there and eat...while everyone elsse was in the living room. Some of those hertity DNA charasterics passed on to me, i mean not exact but similar in staying away because of fear. It's active in my mom's side of the family....
so, you know ill watch people talking about losing weight and will go perfect for nearly 10-13 years of healthy eating and tehn its like they lose all their wisdom, and go back to square 1, where they started in the thinking process of eating. It's scary because I'll make mental deterinations to not be afraid and i lose all that force to continue it....like having a baloon inflate and then PWWWWWFFFFT it deflates back to small balloon.
I don't want to be afraid anymore, I look to the spirit forces to back me up and give me drive....its just some forces are good and the other side...will put on the new age wisdom and tell you your a God with wisdom and then when people believe it...they grab them and take them down to the place where no one wants to go after life. Their was a parody I saw of a angel of light coming to a person, saying they where the devine force of earth, flattered the person with words, then when the person gave in, they turned into a demon and took them down to the bad place. But anyway...i don't know where im getting with this.
If I do have to live in fear the rest of my life...if its for Jesus Christ...then maybe I will do it. Because he will save. And not say vain words that man is a God. The only things man has power over are believers to heal the sick through the holy spirit, 2nd voodoo sourcer's, 3rd wicca and everything related to majic..
lucifer is really something that has made me feel i don't have to afraid if I read about him and learn his power. But at the same time I know im doing something wrong.
Anyways, enough with this yack yack wackThe way I know how to make fear go away is to accept who you are, and know that theirs somethings you can't change. That's it...accurate or not, that's how I see it. Now I need to do it...:(
r
not a scholar but understand distress
Med:
Prozac 60mg
Lamictal 200mg
Zyprexa 20mg
Nuvigil 250mg
encourage you to avoid false beliefs
poster:rjlockhart37
thread:1031180
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20121029/msgs/1031180.html