Posted by porkpiehat on November 1, 2012, at 15:08:14
In reply to Re: anyone have luck adding Abilify to AD?, posted by Zyprexa on October 31, 2012, at 22:47:05
My diagnosis is a floating one, depending on who you talk to. It started out with Depression/Anxiety/Social Anxiety.
The depression has always been there but the intense social anxiety and semi-paranoia started toward the end of college. Sprinkle in possible BPII (father and sister) and PTSD from childhood stuff.
The SSRI's (first Prozac, then Celexa) did a fine job of handling these issues, but they also numbed me out and made me prone to drinking/drugging/manic behavior, plus the sexual effects, etc etc.
Lamictal helped with some of the depression and manic behavior, but had its own side effects like concentration, headaches, trouble sleeping etc.
first Buspar and then klonopin were added to help with the concentration. Buspar ultimately made me angry and sad.
We switched the SSRI to Zoloft to see if it would help with focus, obsessiveness (over meds ironically) and sexual SE's. It helped with these but was terrible as an AD for me. Angry and suicidal!
Soooo....We dropped down to 12.5 zoloft which felt like a great place for me. I felt a natural range of emotions, but it only lasted for 3 weeks or so. I lost any notion of "self possession" and couldn't ask for change at the market without feeling shame and combative. Didn't feel I deserved anything. I felt "cowed" and obsessively nervous. Couldn't focus.
So then by tinkereing and adding 5mgs of celexa these symptoms went away largely. However I'm just kind of trudging along without much sex drive or inspiration.
My pdoc and I had spoken before about simplifying all of this and trying a small amount of AP to a) combat my "hypervigilence" over meds; b) address some of the fearful "self possessivenes" problems and avoidance issues; and c) to cut out some mix of the celexa, zoloft, and or klonopin and "simplify"
I took 1mg yesterday at noon and felt a little cloudy and nauseous when I ate. Automatically felt a little less "possessed" be other people but also a little detatched.
I took none today in favor of take it tonight to avoid to hazy effect. I will say today I've felt short-tempered and pervasively sad. I just had a schwarma and felt tired and sick again. Today I feel worse than before taking any Abilify, so my doubts are creeping in.
Ultimately I'd like to take two months off from work and wean off EVERYTHING.
poster:porkpiehat
thread:1030408
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20121029/msgs/1030462.html