Posted by Phil on October 26, 2012, at 20:34:28
I have what I consider one of the best friends anyone could have. She lives out of state but we have seen each other a few times. She has MI.
She was avoiding me and I just could not figure out why. I mean, I such a good support system to, and no one listens like me. I am Mr Compassion. Just ask me.
We talked yesterday after quite some time. I asked what did I do, I'm going crazy here.
What I did was constantly steer the conversation back to my problems when she was trying to talk about issues she was having.
I honestly did not realize that's what I was doing but I've heard from others that bipolars seem to excel at self-absorption.
I was relieved and extremely grateful that she stuck around to tell me that. I apologized and said that it would never happen again.
She did me a huge favor for our friendship but later I realized that the few friends I have probably are sick of it too.
Tears roll as I type. I was DX unipolar for 20 years and I may be wrong but I don't remember unloading on friends all the time. Ten years ago I'm bpI and maybe somewhere inside I've bought into the bipolar/gifted category and feel that everyone must be fascinated with this disorder and my trials and tribulations. #1 I don't think I'm particularly gifted at anything but if I was modesty would be the rule of the day.
I've got something to talk about in therapy Monday. I'm slow on the uptake but I'm never afraid to say I'm sorry,, I'll do better.
I want to be there for her and my other friends too. I think this hurt because I always saw myself as the opposite of that.
Most people don't stick around someone doing what I did.
When my brother was sick and later dying of cancer he never complained. I just wonder now if he could get a word in edgewise.
One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star.
Friedrich Nietzsche
poster:Phil
thread:1029948
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20121018/msgs/1029948.html